OMG!

What a great night! I will blog more later ( and can't download the video and pics as my computer is being fussy!) but just wanted to let you know...your hunting efforts raised

$3283

for Chix for A Cause!

Enjoy your day of rest! It is well deserved.

God bless you!

Paula

Silly boys, girls hunt too

It's the second morning of open season. The biggest hunting season of all- deer hunting with a gun. I know many of you ladies don't even know exactly where your husbands are right now..."Oh, he went somewhere with so-an-so." And some husbands will come back telling stories like "I didn't see anything" again, simply because they were in a stand but so tired that they had fallen asleep. And then there are the die hards. I just observed the sun rise over the treetops this am but my husband has already been gone for hours. He is a local. He normally will head out on his own for 1-2 days then it may be off with a hunting crew KT has put together. honestly, these are the days where I feel the need to wear blaze orange even in my own home. Shots seem to fire all around our house. I barely let the yellow lab finish her duties outside for fear she may be mistaken. And the road out in front which is lucky to see 3-5 cars all day sounds like a highway at 5 am. Yesterday we made sure we left in the early am and did not return until dusk.

Jordan climbed his first tree yesterday. He sat all afternoon with Todd. They saw a pheasant. And while they did that, Andrew and I tried on a completely different pair of shoes- rollar skates. Oh, the good ol' days. Natalie Smith, if you are still out there, I wonder if you can still skate??? The splits under the limbo bar...the wind jacket that fluttered as she zoomed by on those speed skates whose wheels glowed in the dark. Andrew is an expert on those skates. It's fun to watch him.

I finally found my boots! I mean, I got my kill. After searching everywhere, I think this is it. Can't wait for the party night! I am so thankful I have had such great help this year. Some new ideas have formed and certainly great, great raffle and auction items. I have suck great friends and family.

Speaking of friends, I can't wait to show you the hunting video Kathy, Kelly, and I made. We had an extremely successful hunt that day. All blood trails lead to a kill. I once again grew foot-size envy for those who wear 6-6.5. They even had a full length mirror in their aisle! Why didn't the size 9s? Come on! But that didn't stop me! As all hunters do, we displayed out kill on the rooftop of the car. The response we got from the crowd that gathered...priceless. As one fellow hunter screamed from the other side of the parking lot, "Is there a sale???" Now I know why the back of the truck bed is open (as if the deer is so big, it couldn't be closed)...but to be gawked at is really fun!

To another pair of friends who shared leftover meat... We have sent off elk meat, deer sausage, fish... At times we have gotten salmon, turkey pot pies, goose sausage. Well, my good friends Michelle and Jeanne were kind enough to deliver a shoe leftover. They had spotted them on a hunting expedition at DSW, thought of me immediately, and down it went. The next day, it was delivered to my doorstep. I will be sure to pay them back! Nice!

And to my surprise, a precious gift from a good friend Ann. She thought of our mission on a Fleet Farm hunting trip expedition. A beautiful Christmas ornament- "He hunts, therefore I shop."

To all good friends, Happy Hunting! On this thanksgiving week, I am so thankful to have all of you. I want to make sure that I have your emails. I am planning on sending out a finalized list of all of the raffle and auction items we have this year. So, if you have gotten my emails in the past, you are in. If you have not, please send me an email paula.carlton@aurora.org. Thanks.

This is the last official week the hunting season is open until the show off party to benefit Chix. Best wishes!
Paula

To the Core

OK, I agree. It seems that the bright colors and skinny jeans are certainly back in this season. Somehow in the 2000s, I have become very comfortable with the wide leg pant and nothing but black! And as I continue to shop for that perfect boot, I am discovering the ones I fall in love with are with 5 inch heels! So if the 80s are back, I want my 80s body back too!

I have another blog suggestion to do just that! Tiffany Larson is a personal trainer. She has inspired me to work not only my body but spirit and mind to the "core". While she currently can be seen teaching classes at the YMCA, she also does private training out of her home. Her blogging style certainly reflects her genuine soul. She is passionate about family, friends, and, of course, Pilates. Check it out at www.hometrainingllc.com .

Pilates serves so many purposes. It has reinforced my breath. I am more mindful of my posture. I feel at times, even without those 5 inch heels, I am taller. And if after a 10 hour day, my achilles feels like they have shrunk 2 inches because of wearing those heels, I can come home, plop down on the floor, and work on every small and large muscle my body has to support me.

Happy Hunting...and take care of yourself!
Paula

Hot Hunting Tips

Hello Hunting Girls-

The committee is geared up for the hunt. We are working hard and this will be an evening you will not want to miss.

Just received some great advice in the latest newsletter by Ms. Mary Sheehan Warren!

Take a look but be prepared to stay awhile! She has a number of fabulous thoughts and her writing style is very engaging.

Happy Hunting!

Kathy

Mary’s e-mail-

It’s in the Winter Newsletter at www.marysheehanwarren.com .

… easy-to-use, stress-free, money-saving FASHION advice for you !

Learn the trends for the season…the skinny on skinny jeans…great shopping tips…and where to get what!

Also learn about the new Virtual Consultation Service.

Happy Hunting!

An addiction

I got a text from Kelly this Monday stating Oprah was having a show on shoes, accessories, and handbags. For a moment, I thought my dream had come true. The one where Oprah calls me, tells me she heard about the shoe hunt and wants to hunt too! But how could that be as I was driving in my car on my way home...then my high hopes went to worry. Was Oprah hosting an intervention? Were these women to just give those items up? How could she? This could be disastorious. So I couldn't text back as I was driving, going to pick up Jordan for basketball and my Pilates class. By the time we were back in the car, I forgot to call Kelly back to ask her all about it.

As it is Wednesday, I have time to search what Oprah may have been teaching the world on Monday. The seasons best- shoes, handbags, accessories. I have gone on the website and got sucked in to all of the ideas. I am so happy they agree that this season seems to be all about boots. I really had that feeling last year but was too afraid to be one of the first to place the pant leg back in the boot but I have come out of the closet on that one already this year! I am happy I did that while in Chicago a short time ago as that certainly seemed to be the trend. And the Oprah site has a whole section on over the knee boots! Told you! But, I completely disagree with them on one thing- the over the knee with the heel...who cares if it is Pretty Woman-ish, go for it! She also had a boot that was priced at $2,500. And the quote was about the "think of it in 10, 20, 30 years..." Why were they not whispering in my ear when I had those Guccis on?!?

So, as a result of my inquiry, 2 other great sites for you to consider in your shopping adventures...www.purseblog.com. This seems so cute, fun, needed. A couple of chicks coming together to blog about purse finds, deals, sales. Neat! And www.ideeli.com- excuse me for not knowing about sites like this and I may regret signing up. I'll keep you informed how this one goes or please give me feedback if you have ever done the same!

This web searching can be addicting so I better stop before I end up in rehab. Addiction can be a bad thing. Is there a rehab for shoe addiction? Can you imagine? You would be there with like 20 other girls all walking around bare foot..some talking about how their addiction has caused plantar fasciitis, bunions, spurs...group trips to DSW just to test us...no use of cell phones or computers. I would break down. I would come home, the closet empty except for a pair of flip flops...it would start all over as I attempt to super glue heels on those flops...

But we'll save that for after the hunting season (now I sound like an addict..."just one more...")

Happy Hunting to all you addicts!
Paula

Is it really all about the shoes? The accessories? Well, for a moment it may have been. I still can recall that feeling. It really must be like when the guy gets the truly trophy buck. Recall that first kiss. You know the one where your feet tingle, you feel like you are floating. You even get light headed. I felt it. I didn't want to let it go. I paced myself. I made sure I was the most mindful I could possibly be. I wanted to take in the light, the colors, the sounds, the smells. With each step, I took notice of how my feet felt. As my legs glided forward, my spine became more erect. My head flipped back. My heart beat faster...those boots. Big, black, over the knee...Gucci. Modelisc. My movements became Victoria Secret runway model like...without the big boobs, flat stomach, and youth...but it felt very close! And all through this I kept telling myself "Todd's hunting trip cost as much as the boots".

Do I have the boots in my possession? Goes back to the question, is it really about the shoes? ok, ok, ok...no. No, it really isn't. You can be like Brenda and buy a ton (go girl!) or you can go out and buy clearance at Walmart for $2.98, one pair. It's time to sit back and remember this...when our purpose was created, this shoe hunt grew out of a need to inspire and empower, however conscious we were of realizing that.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go with that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

- Harold Whitman

This past year, my father died. Sometimes I feel guilty that I seem to think of him more now that he is gone. I should have been more aware of his presence when he called, stopped by, helped out. I know the thoughts I have for him and memories of his life are remnants of the legacy he left behind. I was honored when I read the eulogy at his funeral. I felt he was listening. His legacy reminded me of a tree. The tree that now stands tall in our back yard is a symbol of his legacy. He planted the roots and was deeply excited about his family history, passing stories on to us. And the wings...the birds that land on those branches and fly off to greater heights- his children, grandchildren, and those he touched...and there were many. Just come check out the tree once- there does not seem to be a moment that goes by without the presence of beautiful birds (sometimes I imagine them being tickled by those rough yet gentle hands).

He made me think about my possible legacy. And to think about Mr. Whitman's quote. Creativity brings me joy. That realization was an unconscious thought at one time. Once I asked myself who I am and why I was here , I began to understand what I was doing and how I would get there. Legacy- you can leave one or you can live one. And now I am in the thick of it. Creating something tangible around that which I am passionate.

"If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants."

Isaac Newton

So when Kelly, Kathy and I were sitting around the bar that night, our conversation was about leaving a legacy, it just came out in words a little different ("oh shoot! another hunting season. I am so sick of this! Already he is on the phone talking with everyone 24 hours a day..yada, yada, yada!) So is it about the shoes? Of course! But it is about utilizing a passion. It is about sharing that passion with others. It is about leaving a legacy.

And on that note- though the whole party is awesome, one of the best parts is when we turn over the microphone to all who wish to tell their shoe hunting stories, show off their best deal, or intrigue us with their greatest find! Be creative! Make it fun! I already have ideas formulating from my hunts!

Love, Paula

Life is good today...yee-ha!

I was going to journal my hunt with Michelle and Jeanne through scribe but I thought this summed it up nicely!

Thank you Krystan Adams for the nice West Bend Daily News article today. Thank you to each and every one of you for your love and passion. You inspire me to creatively give!

New Info about iPhone

A fellow hunter and apple enthusiast found the information about the bar scanner.

Thank you Jenny for doing the background check!

Happy Hunting and shoot straight!

(Jenny's email)

good news, there is a bar code scanner for the iPhone.

Redlaser.com

It has great reviews. 4.5 out of 5 stars from 5600 users in the app

store and see the article below.

http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-19512_7-10376392-233.html

A successful start to the HUNT !

Well done ! I wonder what the limit is ..... oh yea ....with shoes there is none !!

Wow! I am finally getting to Blog and at an insane hour…but hunting can be tiring and sacrifices, at times are needed. Especially when good hunting tips can be shared with fellow hunters.

So, while preparing for this years hunt I decided to do a little inventory. The best way for me to do this was with the help of a stylist. Mary Sheehan Warren has written a book called It’s So You! Fitting Fashion into Your Life. I was introduced to Mary about two years ago at a friend’s home (thanks Lisa!). As a deer, turkey, pheasant, shoe, and accessory hunter, I need to prep for this years hunt (It is so much fun…isn’t it). Many times we need to get advice from expert hunters and Mary was my inlet. Okay, I will jump to the point, but as many know I love details so I tend to get long winded about topics I am passionate about or think others will find useful. So, if I skipped over a fun detail you want more info on please ask, I would love to elaborate.

My field work-

To prep for our consult I was to take a style profile assessment, which Mary provided (It is also in her book). My style personality tends to be expressive with classic structure.

I also gathered all my gear. This was an experience in itself. I still had clothes from high school (yeah, Sarah… I did not get rid of all of them the day you came over and drank a bottle of wine and kept saying, “Seriously”).

Expert hunter arrives-

Mary arrives in the cutest outfit, which I could see myself wearing. Sorry, I was about to get into too many details. I am going to move to the part of ‘What not to Wear—Closet clearing’. Another side note- there was a get to know you part before the ‘closet clearing’ but that falls under details. I told her to be assertive with my closet. Now, she is defiantly sweeter than Stacy or Clinton, however I had to be very persuasive as to why I wanted to keep a few of my pieces. As she said “Everyday should be an A day”. So, I took her advice and cleared a heap of stuff out of my closet. The best part was, she loved my shoes and handbags. She did suggest a new pair of boots and white shoes, a suit and a sheath. Of coarse a handbag will tie all together nicely. About 3 hours later she departed and I was motivated for this years hunt to really begin (why else would I be on at 1:35 AM)

Where to put my stands?

Hunters’ tend to really contemplate where to put their stand. Oh… I should clarify, stands. There is never just one; at least not in my house...does anyone’s significant other hunt from one stand? One reason for multiple stands is the wind direction. So, Mary gave me a number of options of where I should put my stands (shopping targets!) She also suggested a few great preview places to help get ideas. In hunting land this could be considered the part of videotaping, Paula blogged on this not to long ago. Okay cool fact, and I would love more info so please share if you know more- Did you all know there is an iPhone that is able to scan an item’s barcode and check where that item may be less expensive. How, cool would that be for a hunting tool.

Well, I am going to sign off for tonight. I have shared our hunt with Mary and she was very excited about our trek for the best shoe, best accessory, best deal and best story. Maybe, she will even share a few hunting tips with us?

Happy Hunting!!

Kathy

What a shoehunter thinks about when she swims...

Lap #1- "welcome back"...yeah, I know water, it has been awhile since I joined you. Even after a few strokes, I know it's good to be back.
Lap #2- if I get the high above the knee boots, where else am I gonna wear them? yes, the hunting party...my birthday...oh, Christmas...new years...but I must make plans to make sure I am not always around the same people. I hate it when people see me in the same outfit!
Lap#3- Jordan and Andrew really did great in the KEYS run- both 2nd in their age group- they rock!
Lap#4- I should have shaved today. I think the prickles are slowing me down. Thought I might just do 8 laps but this feels so good I am right back into the half mile!
Lap#5- my thoughts...do I ever shut up? oh well, something to blog about.
Lap #6- my a#*, I do not have $1200 worth of shoes in my closet Todd....at least not yet for this shoe season! I can't believe he said that last night as we discussed what he should do with the Cabelas gift card...he's over his limit!..and now I have something to shoot for!!!!
Lap#7-I really need a pair of black heels.
Lap #8- here it comes again, I am entering the deep area and that vision from that stupid shark week show about the woman who swims her laps in the ocean only to be swallowed up by a great white, swim a little faster!
Lap #9- OK, this is suppose to be a meditative type of experience, let's get back to breathing.
Lap #10- great Fall party this weekend. Fire beer...good but wow! Like High School coach Lynn Laporte always said, "It will take you at least 3 days to recover to normal athlete skills if you drink!" She's right. What is today? OK, 4.
Lap#11- The senate passed the health care reform bill. I think the Mayans were right, here comes the end 2012. I want to move. An ocean would be nice, at least that what my angels keep telling me.
Lap#12- I need to remember whenever I go on vacation to buy shoes- I have in Germany, Mexico, China (for my kids). Gosh, I have to go to Italy. Come on Kathy!
Lap #13- This guy next to me looks like a frog and I really think I just saw a jelly fish. OK, let's get back to breathing.
Lap#14- Zumba was a nice surprise this morning at the Y. Gosh, I want to move like instructor Addy. I could see myself the whole time in those darn studio mirrors...my new hairdo...walked in to the salon Tuesday with blonde hair with dark roots, left with dark hair and blonde roots...I'll get use to it!
Lap#15- 1 more lap then grocery shopping and stopping for soup at the Coffee corner. Todd thinks I have shoes stuffed in my car. I wish he was right- I forgot and will have to wear tennis shoes...not princess style at all!
Lap#16- OK, time for prayer. Thank you God...

Hunting stories

It wasn't as bad as I thought.
Here I was at a wonderful gathering...friends, purses, jewelry, wine. Nice conversation when my phone rings. I had to answer it as it was home and I had not told them where I would be going. It was my husband telling me that they were back from hunting. He took the boys out with him. Rusty and Todd built this wonderful stand on KT's property that they call the Condo or something like that. All of the kids can fit it in and should be able to move their squirrely butts around a little without spooking the deer. So he relays to me they saw 3 doe and a buck. Jordan got it all on tape. Todd didn't shoot because the video recorder went dead. But they were excited for me to get home so I could watch this tape.
Hmmmm...how long do I stay? I discuss this with fellow shoe/accessory hunting fanatics all with fantastic ideas. "Take a picture of each one of these purses and discuss in detail the color, lines, beauty before you watch the deer video." Many similar responses ensued.
Here I was...you can liken parties like I was at to a deer farm. Basically you pay good money to have it all right there- all you have to do is decide which you are going to shoot. And, yes, the bigger the rack, the more expensive the trip package. As usual, the money spent is well worth it because you never leave empty handed. Well, unless you don't spend (and sit down before you read this) I walked out emptied handed (except for a wonderful banana torte that Kelly made!) A co-hunter good friend found a wonderful accessory for the shoe hunt party...could Kathy be the 2 time winner???
I went home. Andrew immediately went into story mode. It was adorable because he has 2 - Todd and Jordan who are master story tellers so he does a fabulous job at uniquely reciting his version. Jordan made great attempts at trying to remain silent. Andrew even threw in directions from were the deer had entered. He was confused as to why Dad had not shot. The video was short but very neat to see. Jordan was the camera man and did a nice job of catching them as they came into view.
Story telling brought us to the prior night. The boys and I were driving home when we caught a glimpse of 2 deer walking through some tall grass. I shined (boy, am I a sucker) the headlights on the deer. I certainly got sight of the first one- a nice buck, thick rack, maybe 8...by the time Jordan got home it was at least a 10 with 4 dropped tines and though we didn't see the first one that was a buck too with an equally big rack! Jordan's adrenaline takes over his vision.
The night is late and we head off to bed but I can't close my eyes until I let Todd tell me his version (I mean by that, he won't let me close my eyes....) So he endearingly tells the story of how excited his boys were to see this in front of their eyes. And I know deep down, they are hooked, all of them. Hunting is officially in their blood for good.
And thank God it is for me too! I spent a joyous night with true friends at the Osthoff this past weekend. What an amazing time! And, you know, there was not one shoe purchased- we did not even see a shoe (but a lot of accessories). Just proves Ladies, that it is not about the kill (and I do not recommend Elkhart Lake if you are shoe hunting). It's really about the relationships you build, the stories you can tell, and the lessons that you learn.
Get out there and hunt!
Invitations are coming but this is open to all. And not to forget about the season and fast forward to the party but you would not believe some of the raffle prizes this year- you are not going to want to miss this!
Hugs,
Paula

I challenge you!

I am totally not kidding when I say this. I was at my son's baseball game last night and by the end of the night noticed that the back of my left foot was hurting. I actually had on this new pair of shoes (can you imagine that?) and was wondering if i actually had 2 different sized feet. OK, so flash back to the Kohls story when I said I walked out with a pair of brown shoes...well, I forgot about the black shoes but they were flats...again, not what i was looking for, but anyway. SO I'm at the game, watching, hurting, wondering. This morning I am getting ready for work and I put on those shoes knowing but they match the outfit, you know. I take them off to check the sizes which would be crazy right? Because they always check the sizes when you check out...I even saw HIM so do (HIM...may have been my first mistake!). Sure enough in God's heaven...2 different sizes 8.5 and 9. Did I fail to mention to you that the other pair of shoes...the brown ones...ALSO DIFFERENT SIZES...8.5 and 7.5. Now, this is nuts. OK, I really am not going to accept responsibility for this (even though I know it is God telling me to quit buying shoes! but I can't) so this is were the blame lies:
1. In the shopper....what woman is out there mixing up the shoes? STOP IT!
2. The employee...she is not doing her job in the shoe section. You need to be especially diligent in the clearance section were the deals are hot and the shoppers are not.
3. The man check out...yes, yes, I know Womens rights- we asked for it but come on, he is sub par, although, I must say, very nice.
4. Lastly, I really think it is a new stragedy by Kohls to get you back, not that $10 back for every 50 you spend isn't enough!

I am challenging you Ladies...do not try on one size and then another. We could avoid a lot of hardship! And don't leave your hunting area before checking what you killed...you don't want to come home with a cow if you meant for a deer.

Shop smart.
Paula

Bunions!

Oh, for Pete's sake! I already had one of those nightmares. You know the ones, hunters! Where you are out on a mission...ok, let me see. If you are a real hunter...like when everyone else seems to have been successful- a deer there, a huge deer here, or like Dan...like this insanely huge perfect, I mean perfect looking rack...13 inch tines...24 inch spread. Wow! Everyone...my husband and friend with their elk. Even my son, moments after the Packer loss I hear a "pling" from the side of the house...dove down! And then there is the shoe hunter...
I woke up the other day sweating. In my dream I was in a desperate search for this pair of shoes. I'm not sure why I was searching for purple shoes (probably a chakra thing) as I have 2 pair of purple shoes and even that can be too many but I was searching. And what do you think happened? You bet, every size but mine. Thank goodness it was a dream (or a nightmare!)
But as luck would have it, it played out. I just needed a new pair of plain black pumps. I have black open toed, close but with silver stuff, a flat pair with a gold buckle thing on it, a black pointed toe with open back, and some black flip flops but just plain boring black heels missing from my closet. So my second mistake, going to Kohls. WARNING! All of the workers at Kohls must have size 8.5 or 9s because the clearance rack sucks at Kohls. It goes from size 8...with nothing until 10. And I am convinced that it is because all of the workers from Kohls shop them out because I do not believe any woman actually works at Kohls just because- those smart women just want to get even more of a discount! They apparantly just don't feel a Super Saturday every Saturday is enough.
So I left Kohls with a brown pair of pumps.
I think I should be listening more. It is probably God warning me I will get bunions. The only way you can prevent getting bunions is by not wearing high heels or constricting shoes, the 2 most common things I seem to do every day. I am quit sure deer hunters do not get bunions. Yes, I am a podiatrist's dream! While he is dreaming of surgically repairing my great toe, I am dreaming of my next pair of pointed heeled shoes!
Next time, I am not hunting alone.
Paula

SAVE THE DATE!

It's back...and it's hunting season. Get on out and hunt for those shoes and accessories!

This year is going to be no different except that each of us will all have another new pair of shoes! Boy, are we lucky! There are some guys that go out and get nothing!

Same season- now through November 30th.

Saturday Dec 5th is the party at Imagine Coffee house to shoe it all off!

Let us know if you wish to contribute in any way- to the blog or if you have donations. We will also be setting up a Facebook site this year.

This year we will be sending out formal invitations. Look for them to arrive mid October. These will also have enclosed smaller cards you can hand out to your "hunting group".

Remember Ladies, this is all about the hunt! Set aside some time for you during these beautiful fall days. Get together with some friends...hunt for shoes, accessories. And then plan on the party to give back.

And, lastly, I have been joined this year by an amazing cast of fellow, well established shoe hunters. Returning committee members- Shelly Waala, Kathy Buechel, and Kelly Goeden. But added members, Kelly Oppermann, Tanya Rolf, and Ronda Lichtensteiger! Yeah! So if you know them and have questions, don't be shy! They are your local shoe hunting experts!

Sincerely, Paula

They grow so fast!

My husband has been a hunter for 26 years. Can you imagine? He is the type of hunter who enjoys it all - deer, fish, birds. He generally has hunted much of the Kettle Moraine. We often go on walks and I will hear " this is the spot where...." Shooting deer is in the Kettle Moraine has become slim pickings. Hunters debate...too much hunting, overestimated population rates, too much building...whatever the reason, it's hard to get a big deer. It ain't no Buffalo County, if you know what I mean (if you are a girl who doesn't have a hunting husband, you probably don't know what I mean). But, I am happy to report that while my husband has been hunting in Colorado with friends, he and Brad shot a big elk...5X4. Haven't seen pictures, haven't even heard details other than "it was awesome". They will be home in several days and I'm sure I will not hear the end of it.

But just think of it! Having to wait literally 26 years or so....having to travel to another part of the country just to get a decent pair of shoes. I can actually totally relate. Where are the shoe stores in West Bend? I am sorry but I have a job, kids, a life basically and for me to have to travel to even southern WI is a task in itself. Yes, Kohls, Shopko, even Walmart...but it ain't no DSW if you know what I mean (and I know you do!). That is why it has now become extremely permittable to shop wherever you wish. To us, you hunting zones are everywhere- just make sure to have your tag (commonly known as a credit card!).

The other change that is occurring in hunting is 10 year olds can hunt. OK, so my son who is 9 is elated! He has been out practicing on anything that moves in the yard (avoid our yard). He will be able to go with his dad with one weapon between them. When I think that a boy this age could hunt, it frightens me. But i know he will be with my husband and that he will be safe. It would be like if I had a girl and gave her my credit card and sent her out shopping...I, too, would always make sure I was along and have only 1 credit card between the 2 of us. Jordan will do well. He is already hoping Dad pulls a bear tag this year.

Now I am very happy this rule does not extend to 7 year olds. Andrew is a smart cookie and could probably handle it. This little boy already knows how to text and send messages on my cell phone as I found out one Saturday afternoon. I was getting ready in the bathroom when he snapped a picture of me goofing around ( I was clothed). He walked out with the phone and moments later I get a call from Lisa who asks me if I am getting ready in the bathroom. Yes....oh, she had just received the picture and it been sent out to 5 other numbers. I looked at the picture sent- horrific! I looked like a porn star (OK, maybe not a star because I do not have that kind of figure but it was not becoming, let's put it that way!) Anyway, I was horrified! He, of course, just smiled and laughed. No more of that! Todd will be equally horrified, I am sure, when he is able to turn on his cell phone as he descends from the mountain to see his wife kissing the phone...and that is was sent out to 5 other numbers (OK- my mom's home phone, mother in law's home phone, Lisa, Kelly, and Todd- thank goodness!) but still!

Off to shop, gotta see if I can break last year's record!
Paula

Party, party, party!

Away from work, kids at school...it must be Wednesday. Todd, Doug, Greg, and Mark leave tomorrow for Colorado. I call the Brokeback Mountain trip especially when I hear of some of the things they need to pack...cotton balls soaked in petroleum jelly??? Oh well, I know they will enjoy themselves. Though I know the trip is to shoot down that big elk of which I have no desire, I would like to place my eyes where their vision will be. I love mountains, pine, streams, air. I know they will not feel defeated even if empty handed. God created beauty!

So if they are off hunting already...I am seriously thinking about taking a special hunting trip of my own. First off, the "committee" is getting together while they are gone to discuss the upcoming shoe/accessory season. Before you know it, you will be out there hunting yourself. Second, a special hunt. Today, I asked permission at a local jewlery store if I could come back next week and "hunt". (I guess the guys have special permission on this land out there). I have the day and time set. I even have a guide. His name is John. I was going to have Kelly but she had some meeting with a Claire...anyway, my hunt is pretty targeted and I am not going to get into the details for my spouse needs to be informed first. But, then again, though he is very good...I mean extremely detailed with telling me the events of upcoming hunts, I hope he listens to my plan as much as I listen to his...And there is beauty in a jewlery store ( I almost felt like I was in Colorado!). Of course, I had to scout the place today briefly- smell the air, check the wind, breathe heavy when I saw the possibilities...they even gave me water ( I must have been really out of breath). Wish me luck!

So back to the party...we will have the party once again in December with the hunt starting just days away. I do actually have a committee and if you wish to help in any way, please let me know! This year, many people I have known and loved (weird how things circle back at you sometimes) have passed away...not just even diagnosed...with cancer and I would love this year to be just as meaningful and fabulous as in years past. Thought I would include a few pics to get you all jazzed up! Thanks to Lisa for the email with all of them!

A blur. That is what the last months have been. I read that last blog entry...February. I have intended to write since, so many times a thought would come. But I require relaxation to bring out my creative side. Believe me, I have been trying. A deep breath here, a yoga stretch there. But here in Hayward, away from all of that- I get inspired.

Russ, my father, passed away on April 20th. Lung cancer. It had seemed it was just diagnosed and that a few weeks earlier he was still saying "I feel like I did years ago. I am fine." But within those few short weeks, he no longer uttered that phrase that often reassured me. He couldn't eat, sometimes I think, wouldn't eat. And within a day, he went from taking a walk in the living room stetching out his side that hurt to laying in bed never to rise again...though he did rise. On eagles wings. And as Chris Tomlin sang, "No more sorrow, no more pain." In those last hours, we held a beautiful prayer with a room filled with family and friends surrounding him with our love and letting God know he was coming.

Since that day, I have felt his presence. God. And Russ. Sometimes I wonder...wow, now he hears my thoughts. Now, he knows I am crazy. Well, it's confirmed, I'm pretty sure he already knew!

Just a few days ago, I went to Relay for Life. It was wonderful to see all of the survivors. Yes, the cancer survivors stood out in purple but there were so many more survivors there. Like my mom. Like Chris, my brother in law. Pat, my mother in law. Tami, a friend. I could go on. They...we...all have had to battle through this disease. Even when you haven't been diagnosed with it, if you care for someone who has, you struggle too. I struggle.

But it is in times like these that I know what matters in life. Love. Family. I read back at that Feb blog and see that I was searching for my diamond (which of course to me had much deeper meaning). And now, I have a brand new ring on my finger. When I returned from China, Todd surprised me at the airport with it. 1. He wasn't suppose to be at the airport, 2. He got down on his knee as he had done close to 15 years before in an airport, this time asking me in front of our children. He has rocked my world for 20+ years. Love. Family.

And with this I want to believe so badly in heaven. I should, I feel angels around me all the time. A place where our souls rest and enjoy eachother. I know I have had glimses- like when time stood still when our children were born. Heaven (and relief!).

Russ' headstone was placed at the cemetry this week. I am not fond of cemeteries but I wanted to visit it. On the way I asked God to send me a song on the radio to listen to, something to prepare me. Nothing, nothing I connected to anyway. I sat there looking at the gravestone, beautiful. Lots of different emotions, thoughts...At one point, I felt all of this presence, I can't really explain- but it may have been what I was thinking that I thought this cemetery thing was just not my thing. And as I got back in the truck, I turned the key, listened to the song on the radio telling me..."God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy." Thank you God. And though I understand our humanitary need for a cemetry, my sentiments exactly.

And with that, I think I need a beer. It's just weeks away from hunting season. My husband is traveling this year- Colorado. While he is helping control the elk population in another state, I think I want to help the shoe population in another part of the world.
www.tomsshoes.com
Peace,
Paula

Swadhisthana

Couples having been doing this since as far back as the Romans and Greeks...exchanging wedding rings during the ceremony. Todd and I did this over 12 years ago. Todd lost his ring this past Fall only to have a wonderful friend find it for him. I had never taken my off for anything until this past week. I discovered while at work that the main diamond in the ring fell out. A patient pointed it out. My co-worker friends who now all have sore back areas they cannot describe looked tirelessly for the diamond. We found millions of salt crystals thanks to winter but no wedding diamond. I cleaned for hours that night...no diamond. It's been a week, no diamond. Apparantly someone at work had this happen to them and found it 3 months later. I pray I find it. It's such a special symbol to me...Todd picked this out without my involvement at all. We never got the wedding band to attach to the engagement ring...it was enough of a symbol to me on it's own. I replaced it that day I lost the diamond with another ring of mine but then felt guilty- that ring was not the symbol of eternity. So now my ring finger with the connection that goes right to my heart is naked.

Today I went for my usual swim but it turned out to be nothing usual. As I placed my left hand above me and pushed it into the water, it felt so different. It was as if the strength just was not there. That finger being undressed seemed to not want to put forth the effort. My mind immediately recognized what was happening. This symbol now moved to be a more metaphorical meaning. I wondered why, why can't I find this diamond? It had hit me before but now in the water became so apparant. And so here is the way my brain thinks (lock me up now). I immediately began to think of the basic elements of life...earth, fire, air, water (and some include metal and wood). So many cultures have spoken of these elements- some in their literal sense and some have deeper meaning...as I continued to stroke through the water, the sense of loss grew deep...so what does the water have to do with this loss of a diamond? According to the Chinese, water nourishes wood, water quenches fire. Is there something I need to nourish? Maybe I am eating too much! How about quench....ok, ok cut back on the wine! OK, how about if I look at it from the Chakra senses...charkras are focal points for the reception and transimission of energies. One of the points is the sacrum which is represented by water. The sacrum is around the area of your pubic bone. It is your unconscious, your emotions. And believe me, when I read about balancing this chakra, I can see the connection, especially at this very moment of my life. I have some work to do, I know. Sometimes that stupid metaphorical thinking can really be so amazingly accurate, it scares me. So, while my search continues for my diamond, I have much more work to do than just that...and if you want to know what I am referring to, the web is a great place to study more about chakras and healing elements.
Peace and happiness
Paula
P.S. Russ is doing great. He has completed his full brain radiation of 10 treatments and has finished his first chemotherapy infusion on monday. This is a man who knows how to live in the present moment. He is showing me how to be thankful for every moment of health you have. Reminder to all who may not know...
90% of lung cancer patients are/were smokers, 10% never did (including Russ)
Top 3 cancer related deaths for men and women 1. Lung (by a landslide) 2. Colon 3. Breast
50% of all Lung cancer patients are first diagnosed when they are in Stage 4, 50% live past their first year
Number of self help books in the Smallstones Library at Froedtert on Breast Cancer- at least 100, the number for Lung cancer...2
Let's start taking Lung cancer seriously...make sure your kids don't start smoking, make sure our air stays clean, eat healthy, destress, and whatever else may help prevent this but please support the research and treatment for lung cancers!

J man

Several years ago we thought it was a good idea to let our children know we would allow them to invite as many children to their birthday party as was the age they were turning. This actually worked out ok when they were turning 5 or 6. Fast forward several years (something we had not done) to age 9. Jordan turns 9 on Wednesday. We have spent our Sunday fully recovering from the 9 children that not only came for the birthday gathering but also spent the night.

Yes, smarter parents would have said no. I, however, was up for the challenge. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that Todd is a teacher and I think, if he can do it, so can I (of course knowing that he is here to help me! Bonus!). We have said from the very day Jordan starting to attend Farmington Elementary school that his class was special. And they are. Such an amazing group of awesome kids and, luckily for Todd and I, a superb group of parents. It really makes it quite hard for Jordan to "pick" who can come- he wants everyone to be here. So at 2 pm Saturday afternoon they started piling in our house with snow pants, boots, sleeping bags, and clothes. Thankfully, the weather was perfect for outside football, basketball, and just plain old fun. With the snow melting and the ground still frozen, there was slipping, sliding, and jumping in the puddles. These kids were soaking wet and having a blast as evidenced by the statement "this is the best birthday party ever!" (A small side note, we do not get sick from the cold. We get sick from viruses, in case anyone would like to comment on how these children will all be sick...no) so they came in, changed clothes, went back out. This went on for hours...in between some food, some indoor games, presents, cake/ice cream.

Then it was off to the West Bend Bombers hockey game- if you have never been and live in this area, give it a try- completely entertaining, great team, super family fun, and reasonable. The kids had a VIP table set up for them- popcorn, soda...had front row seats for the game so with each score they could pound on the glass and dance with each song played. And after first period 3 of the kids were able to participate in the competition on the ice. They all tried to win money during the second period break with the hockey puck toss. And the Bombers won. Those kids were so good during the game...I was very nervous about that but enjoyed watching their faces as many had not been to a hockey game before.

It's a joy watching my son grow up. Jordan is so much like Todd. I met Todd in 7th grade...and it is really nice knowing what he may have been like in those years before I knew him. Though of course I also know Jordan is unique as well. I recall there being a day which seems like decades ago that Todd and I were not going to have kids. And I am so thankful that God decided otherwise. And found us worthy for such a great gift. Jordan has taught me so much about love. And I believe each moment with him is just the best getting better. Last night as we drove to the game, I had 7 of the kids in the truck. The song "Summertime" by Kid Rock came on and you should have heard them sing! I suddenly forwarded my mind to 9 more years when Jordan will be graduating from high school, jamming to tunes in his car with friends much like we did at that age...wow...time.

And today, after the kids left, Jordan joined me for a walk on the New Fane trails with Bella, our dog. Jordan and I have done this together on numerous occasions. Today was an adventurous stroll checking out forests full of beautiful pine, shag bark, and multiple other tree types. The snow was packed just right. We talked. We checked out birds and wondered what is was like to be an animal in this winter season. He picked up a broken pine branch with 3 pine cones (there's that trinity piece again- thanks for the reminder God) attached to an end and brought it to me to keep...it smells so good Mom. The sun felt hot. And in the middle of the woods, there was not one reminder of the busyness of life...what a joy...and to spend it with Jordan...our small journey was a poetic reminder of how great this life is. I love you Jordan.

Mom

dreams, prayers, and love

I had a dream I had cancer last night. Yes, my dad's cancer sometimes consumes my thoughts. But I think I actually had the dream because of the show I watched before going to bed last night. I have this guilty pleasure I indulge in each Tuesday at 9 pm. It's called Nip/Tuck. I got hooked on it years ago when DeAnn (such a dear friend she is, also still has me playing volleyball and attempting to complete our second triathlon this summer) told me about it. It is about these 2 plastic surgeons- they both have major issues and never seem to resolve any of them. Christian is the player. He has been diagnosed with breast cancer- yes, rare for a man (2,000 are diagnosed each year). He recently completed his treatment and went for an augmentation (boob job)...I guess you would call it reconstruction...anyway he was pretty impressed with how things turned out and got a little carried away with having several female friends over to his home. Needless to say one of his implants dislodged due to "heavy lifting" and the woman shrieked when she saw his chest was moving. So in my dream I had a huge lump in the center of my chest.
I also could tell by the way I felt in my dream that I had cancer elsewhere...my left hip, my heart, and my brain. I can vividly remember only 2 main parts of the dream. First, I was standing in the middle of this road. To my right was a scattering of trees in a field. It was beautiful. To my left, more amazing views but intensified. It had the trees, the fields, and behind that a huge lake. I was impressed with both sides and was taking it all in. A deer...ok, let me clarify...a doe deer, tall, really majestic looking, somewhat prancing came from the right and crossed the path in front of me. She stopped as if to invite me and proceeded to the other side. Suddenly, my observatory state was disrupted by thought. The second part of the dream I recall was thinking about what my children would do without me. I imagined their tears and difficulty.

I reflected on this throughout my day. I know from much reading and experience that no one can interpret your dreams but you. Yes, there are some common themes but only I know my feelings, my thoughts, my subconscious. So an attempt at interpretation- let's start with the setting- the right being present life, the left being the afterlife. The deer- I have already determined that each time in life I see a deer, I am reminded of God. And, of course, God is a girl! She has welcomed me from life to afterlife...it's nice to know I am welcomed. Of course, I did not go. Nor do I have conscious thoughts about going but when the time comes, I am welcomed. And as is customary in my ordinary life, my thoughts pop up and interrupt my calm connection. Worried. Worried about something that hasn't even happened. Why would I bother myself with fears of what my kids would have to do without me? I have no plans of leaving and as of right now, I am here. Live in the present moment Paula. And as I opened my eyes in the morning, my 2 boys were by my sides ready for kisses and quality time. ( and before I hop out of bed, quickly do a breast exam of which I am in the clear!)

With this dream self interpreted, I can prayer to God tonight and thank her I am welcomed. I prayer with my boys each night. It is basically to reflect on the day and pray for good sleep. I have been in a small battle with myself over prayer until lately. Not saying it has no place but rather asking what it's place is? And remember this is me writing and my knowledge of spirituality comes from 5 years at St. Francis Cabrini, some readings, and lessons learned from Stillwaters Church...so these are just thoughts...and can you believe I am 38 and still don't know the answers (yes, I may not really know until I actually am in heaven but I pretty much kill myself trying). So prayer. If God does not do harm (which I strongly believe) that means He does not do good. I mean, He does good if we believe because when we believe, we do good things so He does good in an indirect way...through us. (This is really scary but I totally understand that.) So when I get a prayer like "please prayer for so and so who is sick. Prayer God heals them" I pray "please allow so and so to feel your presence so that he may do the things necessary to be in a healed state." or something along those lines. OK, so this is what I think my prayer is for (at this present moment) 1. Since God already knows what I need or someone else needs, I am praying to verbalize what is needed- this can help me recognize what my role will be- then with so and so who needs healing from sick, what can I do with the presence of God to help with that?, and 2. I recently sent a prayer request to my church members. I had never done that before. I then completely understood the purpose of prayer- to continue to build community. These members don't even know my dad and here they are praying. I love that time in church when we bow our heads to pray- last Sunday, I sat imagining what that sounded like if we all spoke out loud- like a second grade classroom during indoor recess, no doubt. So I will keep praying in that way until maybe another purpose becomes clear.

Like the time at work when I was praying the day would be over because the next day I had off and hoped to shop only to click on my email to see Michelle had sent me a reminder of the Victoria Secret 75% off shoe sale going on right now. Again, a friendly reminder to stay in the present moment- why shop tomorrow when you can shop right now?!?
{O} pkc

It's all about the weather

"Whoever said sunlight brings forth happiness has never danced in the rain" Author unknown

There are days where I wish I could be a 6 or 8 year old boy. My 2 sons tonight were laughing hysterically. You know that kind of laugh where you just can't get control of yourself- the belly is rolling, your voice is hissing, your eyes are watering. And, from the simplest things...mostly body noises...or even saying the word fart or burp...and then if you add words together even if they don't make sense- "fartheadblob". And even serious stuff can suddenly become humorous. Tonight we were driving in the truck home from my work day and one of the boys asked how babies were made- they have been challenging me with questions like this more recently- so I went with the "well, your dad gave me something to make the baby." "Did you decide to make a baby?" "Where does it go?" They were satisfied with me simply answering the questions, "Yes, we decide to make the baby" (actually that is another story but I really thank God for deciding to make my baby) and "it goes in my belly". So end of story... quickly the laughing started because they want 4 other siblings...no, 8 to make a basketball team than dad and I could be the coaches...no, why not a total of 22 so we could have football teams against one another...and now the house has 22 rooms, 22 ATVs, 22 microwaves, and lots of junk food because grown ups like healthy food and kids like junk food. Lots of laughs and great, fun imaginations. They end their night with teeth brushing- even with brushing their teeth they are giggling. And finally as they lay down to bed, we pray...as the prayer gets longer, small giggles emerge until the control can be held no longer. And what surprises me, is with some nice deep breaths, they fall fast asleep with smiles on their faces.

"Whoever said sunshine brings forth happiness has never danced in the rain"- author unknown

I know not every day can be that joyous. And sometimes in life, we think life has to be that obviously full of laughter to be good. My motto in life has always been "it's all about balance"...we are not only human but being.

With my dad's cancer diagnosis, I have noticed this as well. It has now been confirmed as Stage IV Lung cancer (nonsmoker- hate that people ask that as their first question) already metastasized to his brain. He will be getting some "palliative" radiation and chemotherapy. His life expectancy is for as long as his body is willing to continue to fight this. Right now, you would not know this by looking at Russ. His "performance status" (fancy name for how he is functioning) is awesome- he really hasn't missed a beat besides a cough and a little headache. In spite of all the chaos this past week and the weeks/months to come, our family as well as Russ have made so many new discoveries. We have done more talking than I think we have in a life time. I've learned more things about Russ, who he is, what his life has been like, and what legacy he wishes to leave behind. He worries he may be "saying too much" but I hope the words keep coming and I tell him this. He loves email- luep@msn.com send him best wishes! When asked on a recent survey how he would describe himself he said "outgoing" and "positive". I agree. Such a strong and proud man.

"Whoever said sunshine brings forth happiness has never danced in the rain"- author unknown

I discovered it is ok to be sad, feel guilty, have anger but not to become overwhelmed with it for I might miss out on opportunities of "dancing in the rain". And as I sit here and reminisce, I can recall hearing my dad say "good morning sunshine" each day I stumbled out to the kitchen for breakfast(yes, if you were a teenage girl, you would have groaned at it too)but now I know...he is my sunshine too.

Thank you Froedtert Hospital for displaying that beautiful quote for me to think about.
Love,
Paula

Cancer sucks.

I am just waking up. Todd went off to school/his work day. It's a different kind of hump day. We have a new president. I wasn't able to watch much of what happened yesterday as it was my long work day- the 8 to 8...what always turns out to be 9 shift. I read his speech on line though. It must have been hard to speak some of those words but I can imagine he spoke it with passion and confidence. He holds himself well. He is such an iconic symbol of everything that embodies the U.S. of A. I am proud to see what our country has accomplished. To me, oh, I have such a hard time with our government. I hope we can all ride on the importance of that achievement and work toward a better world. I hope the people actually heard that it will take more than him to succeed with that.

I guess I have heard the theory...we all have cancer cells. They are just waiting for an opportunity. Some allow them to grow by feeding them with nicotine. Some with stress. Others with processed foods. I've gotten a little crazy lately. I took to heart a woman's words regarding microwaves and the avoidance of them. I'm eating lots of raw veggies and fruits. I exercise. I make attempts at de-stressing. But I know there is a lot of work to do toward the prevention of allowing those cells to mutate and take over. Why, this laptop in front of me...who knows what it is doing?

I have been around a lot of people with cancer in my life. I have diagnosed it. I had a grandfather who passed from esophageal cancer. But never has it been closer than this past week. My step Dad, Russ has been diagnosed with it. He has had a cough. He has never been a smoker. The docs have put him through a ton of tests and a biopsy from his mediastinum has confirmed it. He has some PET and CT scans to do this week. That will help determine what his choices are.

I set an intention this year of "gratitude". My intention now has a focus. The one person in my life who has deserved more gratitude than I have ever been able to give him.

My biological father I have not seen since I was 9, I think. It was my birthday and he gave me a light bright. My mother divorced him a couple years prior. When Russ and my mom got married in 1979...I remember the year from the grandfather clock they built and had the date inscribed, it still charms every 15 minutes in their living room...Russ formally adopted my sisters and I. Our last names were even changed on our birth certificates. So even though I was born into this world a Podlipsky, that legally looks like it never happened. Their wedding took place in a circuit court and the celebration was held at the Mitchell Domes. My sisters and mom lived near there for a couple years after the divorce. We moved to Butler...you can see our old townhouse right by the highway. Russ was working there at the time. I barely remember anything about that place. It was like my life was a blur. I know I went to St. Agnes school. I am assuming it was not for a long time because I don't remember 1 person- teacher, no clue. Friends, don't think so. So then it was off to West Bend. We bought the house that Russ had once lived in. I was sent to St. Francis Cabrini. I remember being the new kid, the school year had already started. They welcomed me...I swear there was even cheering. I really loved the school. Our house and neighborhood was nice. This is where I would spend my time until I moved out with Todd when I was 21.

I can't imagine what it is like to be a step dad other than I was not a nice step daughter. I think about this now that my son is 8. How would it be for him if suddenly one of his parents he would never see again? So, I don't blame myself for having a hard time adjusting. I just didn't think that adjustment would last into my 20s. There were times I was able to see clearly who Russ was...a good man who was taking care of us...but through confusion, hormones, and just pure disrespect, I didn't see it often.

They say your brain does not fully develop until you are 25. That makes a lot of sense to me. That is the year Todd and I married. I recall the way Russ looked at me on that day and suddenly realized how much he was the reason I was standing there that day. He was so proud.

I look back now and think of the good times. He laughs at me for always knowing what presents I was going to get on Christmas day...it was not hard to do. My mom would hide the presents (from Santa) in the downstairs. My favorite year...a cowboy hat, a snoopy and woodstock stuffed animal, a beanbag, and fluffy Pjs. Each present was opened with care since I already knew what they were.

I was allowed to participate in whatever activities I wished. Both my parents were hard full time workers. We lived in the "country" and so I am sure travel, pick up, schedules with 3 daughters - wow! I am dying now and my kids are only 8 and 6.

My bedroom was my haven and Russ knew it so he made it special. He handcrafted a bed with shelving for awards, pictures, and knickknack stuff. And a corkboard so that I could hang my posters of Michael Jackson, Ratt, and Duran Duran. Though my closet was small, it had several drawers custom built and several levels to hang clothes on. And bonus about this room, though that bonus would be discovered later in life was that the window was perfectly placed right on top of the roof...a perfect escape route that was safe and easy! I remember talking with Todd on the phone (this would have been in 8th grade...wow how life hasn't changed!) when I looked out that small window to see Mark Vogeli and Kraig Sadownikow on the roof peering inside!

(OK, so quick side note, I also remember babysitting on a New years Eve. I must have been "going out" with Kraig at the time. We were talking on the phone at midnight. He lived just down the way from where I was babysitting in my neighborhood. He told me to look out the window and was flexing his muscles to me...funny how quickly my mind can flash back to stuff like that.)

Then there was the car. The Mustang I got when I turned 16. Not many kids can say they had their own car. I remember the day perfectly. Russ and mom told me they wanted to take me for a ride. Immediately (boy was I rotten) I knew it was a car. As we were in the car, I was asking what kind and imaging only the best...my friend Schwei had this 2 seater Mazda type thing...ewwww. They told me I was crazy and I finally settled with "fine, as long as it is not green." They both whipped around to look at me in the back seat and said in unison "how did you know?" and just as they said that showed me they me what they had purchased. A green with tan top Mustang. I don't know the year but it was the one Ford did not come out with the cool mustangs. Oh well, it was fast, had a great radio, and found the ditch a lovely place to spend much of it's time. Needless to say when the driver instructor who passed me for my license instructed Russ I was going to pass but needed more instruction, he was right. And that is the other story about Russ I love...he taught me how to drive. I think we both hold the "most ticket awards" in our house. And I am still not quite sure why "learning to drive backwards is as important as learning to drive forward." If you ever drove by in the late 80's on a Sunday at the MPTC parking lot and saw a car driving around backwards, that was Russ and I.

I will go on about this Luepnitz driving instruction class because if I ever need to laugh, I remember this day. Russ took me out to learn how to parallel park. I pulled up next to a car...oh so close. You could barely fit a piece of paper between the 2 cars. He told me to start over. I did not like this and so we argued finally I said, "you drive". He proceeded to try to open the door so he could get into the drivers seat. I giggled while I scooted over to the passenger seat from inside the car. He got stuck a few times but managed to push his way through. I had a smile on the whole way home. Mean... yes, gratifying...absolutely. How his blood must have been boiling.

There are so many stories- trips our west, camping. This is were I developed my passion for nature.

As I reflect, I am grateful. My life is...because of what it was. And Russ, through good and bad times, has been a part of that. I told him he is bull headed enough to beat this cancer. He claims I am bull headed too...he is right...the apple does not fall far from the tree...and though that tree may have borrowed a seed to produce it, it provided all the nourishment that was needed.

I love you Russ and thank you so much for all you have done and look forward to continuing this journey of life together. May you feel God's presence and the love of your family and friends with you through every step of the way.

Namaste in every sense of the word,
Paula

Ugg!

It's hump day. Mid week. No school for the kids and my husband tomorrow- too cold. Most importantly it means I still have 3 full days left of my birthday week. My birthday was January 12th. I am now 38. Lance Armstrong was born in 1971. People like Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh, and Kirstie Alley were born on Jan 12th...what? I suddenly have lost all belief in being Capricorn. The Microprocessor came out in 1971. Walt Disney World Resort in Florida opened. Woman were given the right to vote in Switzerland...in 1971, doesn't that seem a little late?
Todd and I started "birthday week" years ago before kids. I love to celebrate and I love my birthday. i have always been the one to announce my birthday, make my own plans for my birthday. I just have never wanted anyone to forget this momentous day...and I love the attention. So then, just like any person, you want more. And especially as an adult. A lot of times your birthday lands on a day that you are working. And suddenly it is gone before you know it. No way! So when it is my week, I can do whatever I want. Each day since Sunday, I have gotten some type of massage, even from my oldest child. I rarely need to do laundry, kitchen duties. I get to watch what I want on TV. We go out where I want to go. As soon as my kids were savvy enough to understand these benefits, they quickly became fans of the birthday week. And as far as Todd, his demands differ greatly than mine but I surrender.

I felt like my birthday week started on Saturday. I had a fun swim and Zumba workout at the Y. Watched the boys play basketball. Then off to my parents for a visit. My mother in law stopped by to see me. She provided me with a sweet gift...a pair of the most comfortable Ugg slippers. It is official. I wish to appoint her as my Secretary of Comfortable Shoes. She is the best! I'm not sure why they call them Uggs since they are the farthest from that...I would rather see them called Yums. Simply the best. The boys then went to the Lemlers for Sam's Bday and we met up with them later for a nice dinner. Michelle and Rog are always amazing hosts. Pleasant and relaxing.

The start of my actual week was complete joy. Good friends- Kathy, Kelly, and Gini informed me of a gathering that they would pick me up for. Once they arrived, I was instructed to change into PJ's and my gold heels. Not quite what i had in mind. They whisked me off to a wonderful gathering of wine, treats, games, and the Sex in the City movie. I truly was inspired by the generosity of these women's souls. They put so much effort into these couple hours and left an impression that will last a lifetime.
For my birthday, I was greeted at work with cheers. A display of my favorite- hummus and veggies (yes, we like food). I brought the cheese cake and blueberries. I was showered with gifts and cards. I was struck at how well people know me. It made my heart smile. When I went home my boys rushed to the door with flowers and cards, hugs and kisses. We had a family dinner. I pulled out the birthday plate, placed the cake right on top, and handed out the 4 spoons and we dug in!
Tuesday is my long work day. Not a whole lot of celebrating but I do share my birthday with a long time patient. I took her out to lunch at Perkins for some chicken noodle soup. It is so nice to see people out of the clinic setting.
And today...Hump Day. I love this day anyway. I have the day off. I was able to swim, bike, run. I then went to a delightful gathering at the West Bend Country Club. I was asked to talk about "a fresh start to the New year". The absolute bonus was the fact, well there are several....1. Friends were there- Thanks Nikki, Jeanne, and Michelle. 2. I met and heard Karen from naturesgardenspot.com. She is an expert in the field of food. good food, nontoxic food. organics, preparation...she was passionate about what she spoke. I am journeying into becoming a naturalist myself. I was happy to be a part of such a brilliant crowd of women. I received so much good information that I actually was overwhelmed.
My second talk was cancelled (weather) but I was able to drop off the money we made at the party to Chix for a Cause, so watch out ladies, your checks will be deposited soon. They told me they have given over $7,000 in "Gifts of Love" just in the months of Dec and Jan. Way to go!

So I have some days leftof my week. Well, I have years and years left. I am making sure each day is cherished fully. Just as I should do always, each and every day. And though I sit here typing in my Uggs, it was no uggy day to me.

Namaste, I truly do.
Paula

Trinity

I've been contemplating for some time now how to complete my tattoo. Yes, I have one. Funny story. Todd and I both got one on our 1 year anniversary. You see, we were going to get them on our honeymoon while we were in Alaska. We went to the parlor one morning and they were still "sterilizing" but told us they still could if we wanted...that was the 1st warning. When we walked in, posters everywhere of half naked women with tattoos. A sign stating "pierce your ears, pierce your nose, pierce any &$%?*#! thing you want." We walked out after the tour. One year later, we made the trip to Kewaskum. I, feeling romantic, wanted a remembrance of our honeymoon so she detailed a harbor seal along a glacier. Todd walked out with the outline of Wisconsin, a deer, and a pheasant. Now the guys tell me he was thinking of me...the deer is him, the pheasant me. I am not buying it! So now that we have kids, I want to update my tattoo. I often think I want three of something...maybe their initials, maybe somehow their birthstone, maybe words that describe them.

I like threes. I like Todd and the boys. When I decorate...3 candles, 3 pictures, 3 knickknack things...And, sorry, sometimes things take me a little bit to process but it hit me hard today. I was listening to K-love 105.3 and heard this song about God being present in everyone and I know that already but it seemed as if the radio just turned up the volume at that time. And then, I just read that wonderful book The Shack by Young which describes in fantastic detail who God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are (or who we wish them to be). God- the leader, the teacher, the guider, the rule maker, the observer, the pleasure seeker. Jesus- the Savior, the teacher, the reality. Holy Spirit- the feeler. And suddenly I realized why these 3 boys- Todd, Jordan, and Andrew are in my life. They are such life representations of the trinity. I know everyone is. But, for me, it is so nice for it to be so obvious (because I am still learning this stuff!) Todd- the leader, the teacher, the guider, the rule maker, the observer, the pleasure seeker. Jordan- He is going to save the world someday, I am telling you this now (note to God- yes, I am selfish, please don't have it be in the same way though as Jesus. Boy, I am pathetic). Andrew- my spirit. He is my noise maker, he gives me tingles, it's as if he floats through the air.

So my 3, I am so grateful for them. I believe one of the ways I can thank God is to believe and carry out His word in my life to my best ability. However, because I am pretty sure He knows who I am, I wonder if He will at least appreciate the symbols I place on my back? And, yea, yea, yea...of course, I will keep journeying toward His purpose. I've loved the journey so far.

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts...and ye be thankful."- Colossians 3:15 KJV

Shalom.
Paula

I am especially fond of...

Another year has quickly come to an end. As has been a tradition of my family, each year we reflect on what we have done. My boys, husband, and I sit down to make our "Top 10 List". I place it in our collection bin so we can review it along with much other memorabilia whenever we wish. I usually also compile a list of my own to reflect on which is usually not that far off from the family list.
1. 20 years with Todd. We met in the 7th grade, "dated" on 2 separate occasions before finally being serious and "going together" in September of 1988. So many amazing life experiences so far and billions more to go.
2. I competed in my first triathlon and didn't do half bad. I like the prep of biking, running, and getting back into swimming. I totally have DeAnn Seaman, long time friend, to thank for that. It didn't take much convincing but I wouldn't have done it alone. DeAnn and I quickly figured out that most people will compete in 2...one to try it and the second to try and beat the first time. Then most figure out just how insane the whole thing is. So this year will be my second and last.
3. We had a great family vacation in Hayward. Todd's family has been renting there for 2 years and this year we joined them. And so this week became an absolute reinforcement on the importance of family. The experience brought forth Jordan and my first confrontation with a bear and her cubs. We fished, water skied, told stories, danced, and played. By the end of the week, my intention of being "present" was strong.
4. I traveled with my sister Shelly, to New Orleans for V Day. It was a profoundly moving vacation on so many levels. First, to revisit New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. This wonderful city has so much history and beauty. Jazz Fest was going on. People were getting married in the streets. And The Vagina Monologues was playing for the 10 year anniversary at the stadium where post hurricane tragedy had also struck. There was certainly a lot of talk about "down there" and a lot of healing with the help of true warriors. Oh, and the red tent.
5. A recent conference to Hilton Head, South Carolina. It was helpful, professionally and personally. I love it when a conference can do that for me and my work. I no longer have that irritating shoulder pain- let me know if you want to hear that story. And as part of this past year, I grew much more aware of being green. Ending the year with this trip reaffirmed my passion for this. No street lights so they can enjoy the stars in the sky. Laws for the protection of endangered species. Buildings not higher than the trees. Vast oceans, creeks, sand, culture.
6. Family time. These are in no particular order but this should be #1. It is so neat to see these boys grow and journey through their lives from the start. I know there have been so many declarations over the past year, but 2 recent ones...Andrew states that it is just way to hard to be responsible(and not just him, this goes for any kid) for things like where he places his Ipod or webkinz because his life is just so fun and there are so many things to do, how could he possibly be able to be responsible and have fun?...Oh, are they smart! And Jordan, he declared the other day that he would like us to have a family game night (of course Todd and I determined these would be done when Jordan has found nothing else to do ) but none the less, he was able to add some family games to his collection this Christmas and we tonight just finished a long NFL Monopoly battle. And this comes as no surprise to see that when I was behind, Jordan wanted to give me stuff while Andrew ran away with the game holding over $2,000 in cash plus owned teams. Hmmm
7. I love it when I have the time to sit down and read a good book. And I would have to say these books are about trying to be a better me. So no romance or mystery. I followed the big Eckhart Tolle A New Earth Awakenings sessions with Oprah. I read One Dead In Attic after Hurricane Katrina. I was reading The Last Lecture the week Randy Pausch died. Nonviolent Communication by Rosenthal has been helping me in various aspects of life. And The Shack by Young...which is another good resource for reaffirming my belief in who my God, Spirit, and Jesus are to me.
8. New Relationships, old friends. I spent countless fun times with people. I was happy to get to know my sons' friends families. The moms at FES rock! I love the bonding my "Tuesday Talks" group at work has formed. And I continue to keep in touch with HS buds, even rekindling some years back friendships when the reunion website launched this fall.
9. Giving to those who deserve more...I know and want to be doing so much more but I am happy to have done what i have this year. That ALS event is beyond belief- Kathy Buechel does such a great job. The Clarks are terrific. Mrs. Gonring is divine. This eclectic group of women came together to raise $5000. At the shoe event, $1500. I know Haiti needs help so I have made that a priority. I was also so proud of Todd for doing his first mission trip this year.
10. Girl time...The Mom's Conference with my church lady friends. Exotic Dance class with a group of women who transformed themselves within hours. Chocolate making with wine, food, and fun. Shop. Shop. Shop.

Though 2008 also had memories of pain, I am grateful for the opportunities I was given and for the choices I was able to make. My theme picked at the beginning of 2008 was "non judgement". I certainly am not leaving 2008 an expert in the field, but the year has brought me closer to understanding judgement vs. non judgement. And, as always, the first step can simply be an awareness. It was nice to do this because I could then focus my activities around that and reflect on that word regularly.
And for this year, it's gratitude. A common "New Year's Resolution". Todd immediately wanted to know if that meant I was going to be nicer to him this year. I explained I did not think that "nice" and "gracious" were defined equally by explaining that I could be grateful I had him to do the things I need to get done...he would not say that was nice. Well, we will see how that plays out. I will start right now by saying Thank You for taking the time to stop by.
God is especially fond of you.
Paula