SAVE THE DATE!

It's back...and it's hunting season. Get on out and hunt for those shoes and accessories!

This year is going to be no different except that each of us will all have another new pair of shoes! Boy, are we lucky! There are some guys that go out and get nothing!

Same season- now through November 30th.

Saturday Dec 5th is the party at Imagine Coffee house to shoe it all off!

Let us know if you wish to contribute in any way- to the blog or if you have donations. We will also be setting up a Facebook site this year.

This year we will be sending out formal invitations. Look for them to arrive mid October. These will also have enclosed smaller cards you can hand out to your "hunting group".

Remember Ladies, this is all about the hunt! Set aside some time for you during these beautiful fall days. Get together with some friends...hunt for shoes, accessories. And then plan on the party to give back.

And, lastly, I have been joined this year by an amazing cast of fellow, well established shoe hunters. Returning committee members- Shelly Waala, Kathy Buechel, and Kelly Goeden. But added members, Kelly Oppermann, Tanya Rolf, and Ronda Lichtensteiger! Yeah! So if you know them and have questions, don't be shy! They are your local shoe hunting experts!

Sincerely, Paula

They grow so fast!

My husband has been a hunter for 26 years. Can you imagine? He is the type of hunter who enjoys it all - deer, fish, birds. He generally has hunted much of the Kettle Moraine. We often go on walks and I will hear " this is the spot where...." Shooting deer is in the Kettle Moraine has become slim pickings. Hunters debate...too much hunting, overestimated population rates, too much building...whatever the reason, it's hard to get a big deer. It ain't no Buffalo County, if you know what I mean (if you are a girl who doesn't have a hunting husband, you probably don't know what I mean). But, I am happy to report that while my husband has been hunting in Colorado with friends, he and Brad shot a big elk...5X4. Haven't seen pictures, haven't even heard details other than "it was awesome". They will be home in several days and I'm sure I will not hear the end of it.

But just think of it! Having to wait literally 26 years or so....having to travel to another part of the country just to get a decent pair of shoes. I can actually totally relate. Where are the shoe stores in West Bend? I am sorry but I have a job, kids, a life basically and for me to have to travel to even southern WI is a task in itself. Yes, Kohls, Shopko, even Walmart...but it ain't no DSW if you know what I mean (and I know you do!). That is why it has now become extremely permittable to shop wherever you wish. To us, you hunting zones are everywhere- just make sure to have your tag (commonly known as a credit card!).

The other change that is occurring in hunting is 10 year olds can hunt. OK, so my son who is 9 is elated! He has been out practicing on anything that moves in the yard (avoid our yard). He will be able to go with his dad with one weapon between them. When I think that a boy this age could hunt, it frightens me. But i know he will be with my husband and that he will be safe. It would be like if I had a girl and gave her my credit card and sent her out shopping...I, too, would always make sure I was along and have only 1 credit card between the 2 of us. Jordan will do well. He is already hoping Dad pulls a bear tag this year.

Now I am very happy this rule does not extend to 7 year olds. Andrew is a smart cookie and could probably handle it. This little boy already knows how to text and send messages on my cell phone as I found out one Saturday afternoon. I was getting ready in the bathroom when he snapped a picture of me goofing around ( I was clothed). He walked out with the phone and moments later I get a call from Lisa who asks me if I am getting ready in the bathroom. Yes....oh, she had just received the picture and it been sent out to 5 other numbers. I looked at the picture sent- horrific! I looked like a porn star (OK, maybe not a star because I do not have that kind of figure but it was not becoming, let's put it that way!) Anyway, I was horrified! He, of course, just smiled and laughed. No more of that! Todd will be equally horrified, I am sure, when he is able to turn on his cell phone as he descends from the mountain to see his wife kissing the phone...and that is was sent out to 5 other numbers (OK- my mom's home phone, mother in law's home phone, Lisa, Kelly, and Todd- thank goodness!) but still!

Off to shop, gotta see if I can break last year's record!
Paula

Party, party, party!

Away from work, kids at school...it must be Wednesday. Todd, Doug, Greg, and Mark leave tomorrow for Colorado. I call the Brokeback Mountain trip especially when I hear of some of the things they need to pack...cotton balls soaked in petroleum jelly??? Oh well, I know they will enjoy themselves. Though I know the trip is to shoot down that big elk of which I have no desire, I would like to place my eyes where their vision will be. I love mountains, pine, streams, air. I know they will not feel defeated even if empty handed. God created beauty!

So if they are off hunting already...I am seriously thinking about taking a special hunting trip of my own. First off, the "committee" is getting together while they are gone to discuss the upcoming shoe/accessory season. Before you know it, you will be out there hunting yourself. Second, a special hunt. Today, I asked permission at a local jewlery store if I could come back next week and "hunt". (I guess the guys have special permission on this land out there). I have the day and time set. I even have a guide. His name is John. I was going to have Kelly but she had some meeting with a Claire...anyway, my hunt is pretty targeted and I am not going to get into the details for my spouse needs to be informed first. But, then again, though he is very good...I mean extremely detailed with telling me the events of upcoming hunts, I hope he listens to my plan as much as I listen to his...And there is beauty in a jewlery store ( I almost felt like I was in Colorado!). Of course, I had to scout the place today briefly- smell the air, check the wind, breathe heavy when I saw the possibilities...they even gave me water ( I must have been really out of breath). Wish me luck!

So back to the party...we will have the party once again in December with the hunt starting just days away. I do actually have a committee and if you wish to help in any way, please let me know! This year, many people I have known and loved (weird how things circle back at you sometimes) have passed away...not just even diagnosed...with cancer and I would love this year to be just as meaningful and fabulous as in years past. Thought I would include a few pics to get you all jazzed up! Thanks to Lisa for the email with all of them!

A blur. That is what the last months have been. I read that last blog entry...February. I have intended to write since, so many times a thought would come. But I require relaxation to bring out my creative side. Believe me, I have been trying. A deep breath here, a yoga stretch there. But here in Hayward, away from all of that- I get inspired.

Russ, my father, passed away on April 20th. Lung cancer. It had seemed it was just diagnosed and that a few weeks earlier he was still saying "I feel like I did years ago. I am fine." But within those few short weeks, he no longer uttered that phrase that often reassured me. He couldn't eat, sometimes I think, wouldn't eat. And within a day, he went from taking a walk in the living room stetching out his side that hurt to laying in bed never to rise again...though he did rise. On eagles wings. And as Chris Tomlin sang, "No more sorrow, no more pain." In those last hours, we held a beautiful prayer with a room filled with family and friends surrounding him with our love and letting God know he was coming.

Since that day, I have felt his presence. God. And Russ. Sometimes I wonder...wow, now he hears my thoughts. Now, he knows I am crazy. Well, it's confirmed, I'm pretty sure he already knew!

Just a few days ago, I went to Relay for Life. It was wonderful to see all of the survivors. Yes, the cancer survivors stood out in purple but there were so many more survivors there. Like my mom. Like Chris, my brother in law. Pat, my mother in law. Tami, a friend. I could go on. They...we...all have had to battle through this disease. Even when you haven't been diagnosed with it, if you care for someone who has, you struggle too. I struggle.

But it is in times like these that I know what matters in life. Love. Family. I read back at that Feb blog and see that I was searching for my diamond (which of course to me had much deeper meaning). And now, I have a brand new ring on my finger. When I returned from China, Todd surprised me at the airport with it. 1. He wasn't suppose to be at the airport, 2. He got down on his knee as he had done close to 15 years before in an airport, this time asking me in front of our children. He has rocked my world for 20+ years. Love. Family.

And with this I want to believe so badly in heaven. I should, I feel angels around me all the time. A place where our souls rest and enjoy eachother. I know I have had glimses- like when time stood still when our children were born. Heaven (and relief!).

Russ' headstone was placed at the cemetry this week. I am not fond of cemeteries but I wanted to visit it. On the way I asked God to send me a song on the radio to listen to, something to prepare me. Nothing, nothing I connected to anyway. I sat there looking at the gravestone, beautiful. Lots of different emotions, thoughts...At one point, I felt all of this presence, I can't really explain- but it may have been what I was thinking that I thought this cemetery thing was just not my thing. And as I got back in the truck, I turned the key, listened to the song on the radio telling me..."God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy." Thank you God. And though I understand our humanitary need for a cemetry, my sentiments exactly.

And with that, I think I need a beer. It's just weeks away from hunting season. My husband is traveling this year- Colorado. While he is helping control the elk population in another state, I think I want to help the shoe population in another part of the world.
www.tomsshoes.com
Peace,
Paula

Swadhisthana

Couples having been doing this since as far back as the Romans and Greeks...exchanging wedding rings during the ceremony. Todd and I did this over 12 years ago. Todd lost his ring this past Fall only to have a wonderful friend find it for him. I had never taken my off for anything until this past week. I discovered while at work that the main diamond in the ring fell out. A patient pointed it out. My co-worker friends who now all have sore back areas they cannot describe looked tirelessly for the diamond. We found millions of salt crystals thanks to winter but no wedding diamond. I cleaned for hours that night...no diamond. It's been a week, no diamond. Apparantly someone at work had this happen to them and found it 3 months later. I pray I find it. It's such a special symbol to me...Todd picked this out without my involvement at all. We never got the wedding band to attach to the engagement ring...it was enough of a symbol to me on it's own. I replaced it that day I lost the diamond with another ring of mine but then felt guilty- that ring was not the symbol of eternity. So now my ring finger with the connection that goes right to my heart is naked.

Today I went for my usual swim but it turned out to be nothing usual. As I placed my left hand above me and pushed it into the water, it felt so different. It was as if the strength just was not there. That finger being undressed seemed to not want to put forth the effort. My mind immediately recognized what was happening. This symbol now moved to be a more metaphorical meaning. I wondered why, why can't I find this diamond? It had hit me before but now in the water became so apparant. And so here is the way my brain thinks (lock me up now). I immediately began to think of the basic elements of life...earth, fire, air, water (and some include metal and wood). So many cultures have spoken of these elements- some in their literal sense and some have deeper meaning...as I continued to stroke through the water, the sense of loss grew deep...so what does the water have to do with this loss of a diamond? According to the Chinese, water nourishes wood, water quenches fire. Is there something I need to nourish? Maybe I am eating too much! How about quench....ok, ok cut back on the wine! OK, how about if I look at it from the Chakra senses...charkras are focal points for the reception and transimission of energies. One of the points is the sacrum which is represented by water. The sacrum is around the area of your pubic bone. It is your unconscious, your emotions. And believe me, when I read about balancing this chakra, I can see the connection, especially at this very moment of my life. I have some work to do, I know. Sometimes that stupid metaphorical thinking can really be so amazingly accurate, it scares me. So, while my search continues for my diamond, I have much more work to do than just that...and if you want to know what I am referring to, the web is a great place to study more about chakras and healing elements.
Peace and happiness
Paula
P.S. Russ is doing great. He has completed his full brain radiation of 10 treatments and has finished his first chemotherapy infusion on monday. This is a man who knows how to live in the present moment. He is showing me how to be thankful for every moment of health you have. Reminder to all who may not know...
90% of lung cancer patients are/were smokers, 10% never did (including Russ)
Top 3 cancer related deaths for men and women 1. Lung (by a landslide) 2. Colon 3. Breast
50% of all Lung cancer patients are first diagnosed when they are in Stage 4, 50% live past their first year
Number of self help books in the Smallstones Library at Froedtert on Breast Cancer- at least 100, the number for Lung cancer...2
Let's start taking Lung cancer seriously...make sure your kids don't start smoking, make sure our air stays clean, eat healthy, destress, and whatever else may help prevent this but please support the research and treatment for lung cancers!

J man

Several years ago we thought it was a good idea to let our children know we would allow them to invite as many children to their birthday party as was the age they were turning. This actually worked out ok when they were turning 5 or 6. Fast forward several years (something we had not done) to age 9. Jordan turns 9 on Wednesday. We have spent our Sunday fully recovering from the 9 children that not only came for the birthday gathering but also spent the night.

Yes, smarter parents would have said no. I, however, was up for the challenge. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that Todd is a teacher and I think, if he can do it, so can I (of course knowing that he is here to help me! Bonus!). We have said from the very day Jordan starting to attend Farmington Elementary school that his class was special. And they are. Such an amazing group of awesome kids and, luckily for Todd and I, a superb group of parents. It really makes it quite hard for Jordan to "pick" who can come- he wants everyone to be here. So at 2 pm Saturday afternoon they started piling in our house with snow pants, boots, sleeping bags, and clothes. Thankfully, the weather was perfect for outside football, basketball, and just plain old fun. With the snow melting and the ground still frozen, there was slipping, sliding, and jumping in the puddles. These kids were soaking wet and having a blast as evidenced by the statement "this is the best birthday party ever!" (A small side note, we do not get sick from the cold. We get sick from viruses, in case anyone would like to comment on how these children will all be sick...no) so they came in, changed clothes, went back out. This went on for hours...in between some food, some indoor games, presents, cake/ice cream.

Then it was off to the West Bend Bombers hockey game- if you have never been and live in this area, give it a try- completely entertaining, great team, super family fun, and reasonable. The kids had a VIP table set up for them- popcorn, soda...had front row seats for the game so with each score they could pound on the glass and dance with each song played. And after first period 3 of the kids were able to participate in the competition on the ice. They all tried to win money during the second period break with the hockey puck toss. And the Bombers won. Those kids were so good during the game...I was very nervous about that but enjoyed watching their faces as many had not been to a hockey game before.

It's a joy watching my son grow up. Jordan is so much like Todd. I met Todd in 7th grade...and it is really nice knowing what he may have been like in those years before I knew him. Though of course I also know Jordan is unique as well. I recall there being a day which seems like decades ago that Todd and I were not going to have kids. And I am so thankful that God decided otherwise. And found us worthy for such a great gift. Jordan has taught me so much about love. And I believe each moment with him is just the best getting better. Last night as we drove to the game, I had 7 of the kids in the truck. The song "Summertime" by Kid Rock came on and you should have heard them sing! I suddenly forwarded my mind to 9 more years when Jordan will be graduating from high school, jamming to tunes in his car with friends much like we did at that age...wow...time.

And today, after the kids left, Jordan joined me for a walk on the New Fane trails with Bella, our dog. Jordan and I have done this together on numerous occasions. Today was an adventurous stroll checking out forests full of beautiful pine, shag bark, and multiple other tree types. The snow was packed just right. We talked. We checked out birds and wondered what is was like to be an animal in this winter season. He picked up a broken pine branch with 3 pine cones (there's that trinity piece again- thanks for the reminder God) attached to an end and brought it to me to keep...it smells so good Mom. The sun felt hot. And in the middle of the woods, there was not one reminder of the busyness of life...what a joy...and to spend it with Jordan...our small journey was a poetic reminder of how great this life is. I love you Jordan.

Mom

dreams, prayers, and love

I had a dream I had cancer last night. Yes, my dad's cancer sometimes consumes my thoughts. But I think I actually had the dream because of the show I watched before going to bed last night. I have this guilty pleasure I indulge in each Tuesday at 9 pm. It's called Nip/Tuck. I got hooked on it years ago when DeAnn (such a dear friend she is, also still has me playing volleyball and attempting to complete our second triathlon this summer) told me about it. It is about these 2 plastic surgeons- they both have major issues and never seem to resolve any of them. Christian is the player. He has been diagnosed with breast cancer- yes, rare for a man (2,000 are diagnosed each year). He recently completed his treatment and went for an augmentation (boob job)...I guess you would call it reconstruction...anyway he was pretty impressed with how things turned out and got a little carried away with having several female friends over to his home. Needless to say one of his implants dislodged due to "heavy lifting" and the woman shrieked when she saw his chest was moving. So in my dream I had a huge lump in the center of my chest.
I also could tell by the way I felt in my dream that I had cancer elsewhere...my left hip, my heart, and my brain. I can vividly remember only 2 main parts of the dream. First, I was standing in the middle of this road. To my right was a scattering of trees in a field. It was beautiful. To my left, more amazing views but intensified. It had the trees, the fields, and behind that a huge lake. I was impressed with both sides and was taking it all in. A deer...ok, let me clarify...a doe deer, tall, really majestic looking, somewhat prancing came from the right and crossed the path in front of me. She stopped as if to invite me and proceeded to the other side. Suddenly, my observatory state was disrupted by thought. The second part of the dream I recall was thinking about what my children would do without me. I imagined their tears and difficulty.

I reflected on this throughout my day. I know from much reading and experience that no one can interpret your dreams but you. Yes, there are some common themes but only I know my feelings, my thoughts, my subconscious. So an attempt at interpretation- let's start with the setting- the right being present life, the left being the afterlife. The deer- I have already determined that each time in life I see a deer, I am reminded of God. And, of course, God is a girl! She has welcomed me from life to afterlife...it's nice to know I am welcomed. Of course, I did not go. Nor do I have conscious thoughts about going but when the time comes, I am welcomed. And as is customary in my ordinary life, my thoughts pop up and interrupt my calm connection. Worried. Worried about something that hasn't even happened. Why would I bother myself with fears of what my kids would have to do without me? I have no plans of leaving and as of right now, I am here. Live in the present moment Paula. And as I opened my eyes in the morning, my 2 boys were by my sides ready for kisses and quality time. ( and before I hop out of bed, quickly do a breast exam of which I am in the clear!)

With this dream self interpreted, I can prayer to God tonight and thank her I am welcomed. I prayer with my boys each night. It is basically to reflect on the day and pray for good sleep. I have been in a small battle with myself over prayer until lately. Not saying it has no place but rather asking what it's place is? And remember this is me writing and my knowledge of spirituality comes from 5 years at St. Francis Cabrini, some readings, and lessons learned from Stillwaters Church...so these are just thoughts...and can you believe I am 38 and still don't know the answers (yes, I may not really know until I actually am in heaven but I pretty much kill myself trying). So prayer. If God does not do harm (which I strongly believe) that means He does not do good. I mean, He does good if we believe because when we believe, we do good things so He does good in an indirect way...through us. (This is really scary but I totally understand that.) So when I get a prayer like "please prayer for so and so who is sick. Prayer God heals them" I pray "please allow so and so to feel your presence so that he may do the things necessary to be in a healed state." or something along those lines. OK, so this is what I think my prayer is for (at this present moment) 1. Since God already knows what I need or someone else needs, I am praying to verbalize what is needed- this can help me recognize what my role will be- then with so and so who needs healing from sick, what can I do with the presence of God to help with that?, and 2. I recently sent a prayer request to my church members. I had never done that before. I then completely understood the purpose of prayer- to continue to build community. These members don't even know my dad and here they are praying. I love that time in church when we bow our heads to pray- last Sunday, I sat imagining what that sounded like if we all spoke out loud- like a second grade classroom during indoor recess, no doubt. So I will keep praying in that way until maybe another purpose becomes clear.

Like the time at work when I was praying the day would be over because the next day I had off and hoped to shop only to click on my email to see Michelle had sent me a reminder of the Victoria Secret 75% off shoe sale going on right now. Again, a friendly reminder to stay in the present moment- why shop tomorrow when you can shop right now?!?
{O} pkc