"The good news is you're feeling stuff, you know?"

Today I watched the movie "Boyhood" in preparation for tonight's Oscar awards. It is a movie that was shot over a 12 year time span in which we get to watch the real life transformation of a boy, Mason, and his journey through his youth with divorced parents. It was impossible not to watch this movie without thinking about my own life and my boys own experiences at this point of their lives. While there are multiple relatable scenes throughout the film, the one that resonated most was when Mason was standing with his father pondering life's purpose shortly after a breakup with his girlfriend and right before he heads off to college. His father responds,  "The good news is you're feeling stuff, you know?" Earlier in the movie, Mason's mother proclaimed that her life had quickly turned into one life event after another. School, marriage, kids, divorce (times 3), dream job, kids graduating...and then her thoughts moved to her death as if the estimated 40-some years after her children graduated were to mean nothing. Life was more about moving from one event to the next without the "feeling stuff" as her ex had pointed out.

There is no question in my mind that Mason's dad was right on. It is the "feeling stuff" that allows life to have a sense of living a full life, no matter what our purpose may be. Maybe we may never even discover what our purpose is, but as long as we feel each moment in time, use each and every sense, realize the beat of our heart in that moment, and feel that greater presence of something much grander than ourself...maybe that is it. Like looking in my son's eyes and feeling his excitement when he tells a story. Smelling the chocolate before eating it. Breathing the fresh air and taking in the sites that surround one on a walk. Transcending inward and upward during prayer.

This year's DNR After the Shoe Hunt Party was not just an event. It was full of feeling- think of every emoji you have on your cell phone! For those in attendance, Tara's ability to share her story and teach us (as adults!) important life lessons was chalked full of emotion (You can watch it at http://youtu.be/73vC2Ipc_Fc). The shoe hunting stories, whether Kelly's "too many shoes but he didn't say clothes", Heidi's "Ronda's locked in the bathroom", or Laura's "deal from the Good Will only to get ripped off by the antique mall" beckoned joy. Surely, the friends, family, and atmosphere produced peace. The knowledge of wine and delicious food provided by Sharon Templeton yielded appreciation. And that we could help out an individual with a gift of love and the Chix 4 A Cause organization brought about such joy. An event? Sure...but so much more...with feeling.

Tara talked about "fighting like a girl". You, my good friends, have been "hunting like a girl"...prettier, with emotion, and with a greater purpose. Our efforts that evening allowed Tara and her family to receive  many gifts of love so they may take a family trip as well as have funding for other expenditures. Thank you so much.

To continue your support of Tara, please consider following her at www.caringbridge.org. You can also continue your support of Chix 4 A Cause (www.chix4acause.org) at many future events. And, as always, remember those people and businesses who donated their time and gifts to this wonderful night! Until next year...

Be well!
Paula

Food...the event...how we help.

Cancer…to me is a 4-letter word. Google describes it as “the disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body” and even “a practice or phenomenon perceived to be evil or destructive and hard to contain or eradicate”. Cancer is one of the leading causes of death worldwide. While we know certain cancer development involves genetic alterations which some may think means they are doomed if in their family history, there is something called epigenetic markers that can give, even the strongest family history, hope. Epigenetics can switch genes on and off. They are influenced by age, the external environment and what we choose to do with our bodies. Thus, epigenetics provides a link between the environment, diet, and cancer development. For example, the food we eat either contributes directly to cancer prevention by preventing cells from abnormal cell division or could even contribute to it.  Take a cruciferous vegetable like broccoli or brussel sprouts (not laden in butter and salt). They contain sulforaphane that belongs to a well-studied group of anti-cancer compounds called isothiocyanates (ITCs). Cruciferous vegetables are packed with ITCs! A cancerous cell is also acidic. If your body is in a constant state of over-acidification, it becomes impossible for healthy cells to regenerate therefore, abnormal cell replication can occur. It’s why drinking soda and most “flavored drinks”, regular or diet, should have no place in your daily life in addition to a list of other acidic-causing foods. The good news- at anytime, genomic and epigenomic damage caused by exposure to cancer-causing agents such as toxins, free radicals, radiation, and infectious agents could be repaired if it occurs before abnormal cell replication.

This year, as has been in every year since the DNR Shoe Hunt began, we have a different theme to the night. We have a food and wine theme. Though our goal is to assist you in pairing your foods with the correct wines with the inspiring wine educator Sharon Templeton, we also hope to provide you with the 80/20 alkaline/acidic balance the research has suggested to keep your cells in a healthy state! That means lots of water and cruciferous veggies. And even some wonderful tea as a to-go thank you! We don't want you to leave acidified!!! We would love to see you there. We also hope you bring  some friends. If you have emailed or called me with 3 people coming with you, your $30 admission will be free!!!

After the tasting, the night will continue with our Shoe & Accessory Hunt Fundraiser Party all to benefit Chix 4 A Cause. Over the years we have been able to assist many people with the diagnosis of cancer with gifts of love. We are hopeful to make this as special as it has been in years past and maybe even more personal. We have heard the stories of how these gifts of love touch those with cancer. Their stories are clear examples of how, though it is true, cancer is evil, as Stuart Scott had said during his acceptance speech when he was awarded the 2014 Jimmy V Perseverance award at the ESPYs in 2014, “You beat cancer by how you live, why you live and in the manner in which you live. So live, live, fight like hell. And when you get too tired, [lie] down, rest and let someone else fight for you.”  We are hear to help in the fight as we are not afraid of a 4-letter word.

RIP Stuart Scott.

The 2014 Hunting season is underway...

It's already November. I have heard from my husband and boys that the "rut" has started. The stories of "a large buck that was just too far away to shoot" has been told more than once in my household. Our freezer is already filled with pheasants and a few ducks. Any time we see a flock of turkeys along the road, I am instructed to stop or slow down as Jordan tries to gather all of the details about how many, male/female ratio, location, and time.

I have found plenty of times doing much of the same. I have done a ton of "online" hunting this season. Mostly window shopping. Many shoes that just seem to be a bit out of reach. Though many are overfilling my closet. While others, I have been taking notes for that day I am ready to put forth the effort to pull the trigger on...ready to then show off later!

I hope you have already been out for your shoe & accessory hunt. And if not, don't fret. Did you know that after the gun hunt, many men (and women) still get to hunt?- some even into January! Though the gun needs to be polished and placed safely away for the season when it comes to deer, there are still other animals such as turkeys and squirrel to hunt and even others can find a specific zone to continue with their muzzle loader or bow for deer. And we thought this would be a great reason to change the time of the Shoe & Accessory Hunt Party. We should be able to continue hunting as well! Bonus. Extend the season AND have the party after the great "after Christmas sales". Winner, winner!

So this year, the party will be at the end of January.

A few tips you may want to consider with your hunting season this year:
1. "Kill" then wear shoes you can walk in after you have had a few tastings of wine. There will be a "pre party" occurring this year. This will be an educational session given by a local sommelier to help us understand the importance of food and wine pairings. We will have some amazing Hon-E-Kor fish, a local cheese factory sampling, and a Candy Tree desert all paired with the most delectable and tantalizing wines.  
2. "Kill" then wear shoes you can handle for an evening. We will end the evening around 10:30. There is a lot to do! Tell stories, review raffle baskets, and hang with really amazing women.
3. "Kill" then wear shoes that will tell a good story! The night really centers around stories. Whether it be the Chix for A  Cause team talking about a gift of love, a friend chatting about her best deal kill during the season, or the inspiring stories about how many women hunt down their killer shoes & accessories.
4. "Kill" then wear shoes that, when you look back on them in a few months, will remind you of an evening that you went to and felt like you made a difference in someone's life who had been diagnosed with cancer.  This night is about community charity, given in a unique and creative way, which helps provide people with gifts of love. This night, we will specify where this money will go so we know the direct impact we have made.

Please save the date. Please start your hunting. Please stay updated by liking us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pages/DNR-Shoe-Accessory-Hunt/157916880887075

Be well!
Paula

Deepest Gratitude

One of the most exciting moments of the Shoe & Accessory Hunt Gathering party is when we announce the raffle basket winners. This year we had 17 baskets filled to their brims with items like Finish Line Training of Kewaskum sessions, L’Bri facial cleanser, and one of my new FAVORITES!, the dermgirls.com  glytone antioxidant anti-aging serum.  Mocha Nails, massage, and tanning sessions were given away. ..Many wine baskets…and one of my precious memories of the evening was when Rhonda with an “h” Lichtensteiger, owner of Moosenuckles came out wondering if what I wrote on “her” donation basket card- a Kindle, blanket, and wine- was really what she had told me she was donating for a basket..only for her to find out she would be coming face to face with Ronda without an “h” Lichtensteiger, dear friend and her very distant relative, that evening who had kindly donated said basket. Such a small world. Oh, and by the way, Rhonda with an “h”, owner, donated a simply fantastic basket as well filled with shirts, wine, cozies, treats, candles, and a wine aerator! As if it weren’t enough that she donated her business for the night, her time (as well as her great family and friends’ time!), and her authentic charm and grace. 

What I love about raffles baskets is it’s similarity to window shopping. There is lots of peeking, wondering “if I did…what would I do…”, and oooohhhhs and aaaahhhhs. Everyone in attendance recognizes and automatically becomes grateful for the generosity of others to such a wonderful cause. Some gamble on buying a few raffles and sporadically place them singly in a bag while others almost buy-out the raffle tickets putting each and every one in the most desirable item. Though it is extremely difficult to get the attention of busy women who want nothing more than to chat with one another about life’s goings on, I raise my voice loud enough (and am still recovering from the crackling irritation caused by that piercing pitch) to announce the winners. For brief moments, there is only the sound of the name called as everyone hopes it is theirs. Some women seem to get lucky with more than one. And the greatest test of faith is when we don't called. What I love about this night is that we are all able to say THANK YOU LORD! 

“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. “

2 Corinthians 9:7 

The room was filled with cheerful givers that Wednesday December 4th, 2013. The women who gathered and others who donated on-line helped raise $3000 for chix4acause.org. A special thanks to Joy Heinan who I know was at least one of our “pheasant tag” donators who could not attend but was generous in donating.  

So many stories were shared enthusiastically in front of all or quietly at the quaint tables. Tammy hunted while a kidney stone was carving away at her ureter. Sarah admitted her shoe-a-holic tendencies of which ALL of us where willing to support rather than save her from…and to top it off…she informed all  of a slick delivery service that drops her fix right at her doorstep, and not once but TWICE a month. She certainly was “high” on her heels this evening. Ms. breath-taking Ali was decked out in a fur and sparkle as she confessed she would only do for such a great cause. Size 9, thank you very much! Divine! Our co-founder Kathy brought back out a kill that was downed during year 1 of the hunting season! I recall her hanging on to the Welcome Chix sign in those furry boots during the snowstorm. I seemed to be the one who had the desirable accessory…my new rooster bedazzled purse from E-collectique was nearly nabbed on numerous occasions Kelly’s story was top secret and will remain that way as we have learned that there are others cities besides Vegas where what happens has to stay. And then was the story of the night where a wise woman questioned our desires to dress differently. Why? 

When truly,… we… are… one.

Pause.

Namaste.

I cannot say enough or thank enough to truly reflect my deep gratitude for these women. They give of themselves in many ways. Time seems to be the most precious gift one can give. I thank them for theirs. 

I thought everything was perfect that night. Moosenuckles and it’s ambience. The food and naughty cookies. New friends for life like the dermgirls.com. Lastly, the giving to provide even more gifts of love to others. 

Until next hunting season my friends. Be well this holiday season! 

Love, 

Paula   

Thankful!

It may be primal in all of us to leave some type of legacy. Mine is to give to others in creative ways- a "socialite philanthropist" I am told! A former Microsoft employee Scott Berkun once wrote "As soon as someone starts talking about changing the world or radically reinventing something odds are good he’s talking from his ego, not his heart." While I understand this whole "shoe and accessory hunt" may seem a bit selfish, the beauty of what surrounds it is the gift we give and leave to others. There is a way to simultaneously make major differences in our world—both to help other people and feel good about our choices—all the while positively improving lives. We can do things both large and small, for others and ourselves, every day if we choose to. I hope many of you know, I have a heart and mind that thrives on giving. I am frequently wondering "How can I help? Can I make this better?" So the shoe hunt is so much more than the hunt. When the idea first surfaced years ago, my brain (and those around me) went right to wondering how we could turn this into something for the greater good.

The beauty of the Shoe Hunt has been the many involved who give creatively in different ways. This is a night FILLED with givers. Some are dedicated hunters and come to the party to give their donation and show off their "kill".  Some silently donate to chix4acause.org and prefer not to be present. Others donate by adding a raffle basket for the party. This year we decided to recognize that in the best way we knew how. We created the "Dove Tag". This tag encourages one to create a donation basket to be raffled off at the shoe hunt party, and for that donation, the donator gets in free of charge the night of December 4th. With this year's party having over 15 baskets, we have many who are donating as doves! It is the ultimate "pay it forward" gift. 

All of the baskets are ready for this Wednesday's party. Here are just a few:

1. Hanging basket inspire summer!- A beautiful pontseitta to take you through Christmas, a herb starter kit for deep dead of winter, some spring time bulbs, and a gift card for your summer hanging basket. And don’t worry about watering- 2 plant watering bulbs are included!

2. Silent Night, Holy Night!- a quiet night around the table for 4 including wine glasses, a Heberer homemade wine holder, a candle centerpiece, Peirano Estate Vineyards 2010 “Six Clones” Merlot, and Local Singer/Songwriter Dave Gerardt’s latest album “Leaving the Familiar Behind”

3. Duck Dynasty Cooking- Cook like the Robertson family does! A nifty little grill with all the fix in’s including charcoal, cups, playing cards, Si's iced tea, food, and more food! There is even an iTunes gift card for you to buy anyone of the books this family has published this year!

4. Badger to go pack- for your next game at home or on the road! A Badger cooler, plates, napkins, cups, a Pear & Simple Core cutting board, Core ladle spoon, Wollersheim Winery Port wine, an ant-themed picnic party dip bowl & spreader and for the morning, a hangover buster shower burst

5. Wine Basket- To help improve your wine knowledge, this book titled Perfect Pairings contains over 100 different delicious recipes with wine recommendations. You will enjoy the Core cutting board and might as well see how the pairings of the olives, chips, and bruschetta goes with this bottled wine!

6. Cozy winter dream- Stephanie Luepnitz created these wool gloves and they are paired with the perfect deep purple knitted scarf. Throw this on after you heat up your tea in a ceramic mug nestled in a reusable small storage unit along side a white pontsettia. 

7. Pat&Pat- They have kindly donated again! This year’s theme is wine- some glasses and those beautiful homemade clothes!

We also have great baskets from Mattek's Dance studio, the dermgirls.com, Mocha Nails, Finish Line Training, and KerCar Catering. 

I am so grateful for those who have become our doves for this year's party. I am also thankful for the hundreds I know who conduct simple everyday actions that make a difference in the lives of others. 

It is said that "gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world." (John Milton). 

Our little shoe hunt party is a good thing, simply said. I hope you are looking forward to this experience, the experience of giving in whatever way you choose. 

Be Well!

Paula 

Wine and Dine Hunting Adventure!

Yes, wine can be an accessory. No, not like when you spill it on your favorite silky shirt nor when it stains your teeth and matches that burgundy lipstick. There are actually necklace apparatuses (check out www.wineyolk.com, I am serious!)  that you can sleeve your wine glass through. I guess this was invented to allow your hands to be free allowing for that animated conversation you and your girlfriends always seem to be having. Maybe it serves to be placed perfectly between your “great divide” to accentuate what God clearly wanted we women to proudly display. How about the next concert or sporting event- no need to put the glass down now when you feel the need to clap! Or maybe, just maybe, it was meant for some tired woman who endlessly cleans, sweeps, hugs, helps with homework, etc thus does not have time to sit down for her sip of wine. I think Lisa Wallner needs one of these! Who thought of such a contraption? Not sure, who cares! You will be sure to find one or more at this year’s shoe hunt and accessory party! Just for fun.

This was just one of the many entertaining items Kathy, Kelly, and I encountered this past Sunday at Wine and Dine 2013 sponsored by Boston Store. Though this was not technically a “hunting mission”, each one of us came dressed to kill. We were on the hunt for good food, wine and even came across some smooth bourbon and dark malt. While the rain poured and wind gusted outside, inside the only drops were those left in our glasses after a sampling of greats such as Leonitti Cellar winery, Aviation Top Gin, and Sheboygan’s very own Sheeps Brewery. The air was calm and filled with aromatic flavors thanks to Braise, Le Reve, and the Harbor House who were among the over 30 restaurants serving out delectable samples. If you are interested in learning more of these and other great finds in the Milwaukee area, download the “Best of Brew City” free app from the Apple or Google store!

Though this may sound like all play and no work, we did work! Hunting doesn’t just happen and if a hunt is successful, it is essential you know how to prepare it. We signed up for a cooking class presented by the MATC Culinary Arts School. Of all things, we made aioli (fancy for mayo). Here’s a recipe that seems similar: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Aioli/Detail.aspx. In place of the “water” called for in this recipe, just lean forward as the beads of salty sweat drop off your forehead! Because, remember, we had to whisk…and whisk…and whisk. We were paired with Jo, a beautiful woman, who loved to cook as well. We were able to take the aioli home and I sampled it with smoked salmon- yum! This culinary experience reminded me of one of the best dinners I can remember. It came from a culinary school I went to when out visiting my friend Heidi in Bend. I was happy to find out MATC is now doing the same- http://www.matc.edu/cuisine/. 

The highlight of my day was the pleasure of spending it with 2 awesome women. Kathy and Kelly have a long friendship together. I always feel honored to spend time with such talented and giving ladies. In addition, this experience inspired ideas for the Shoe and Accessory Hunt Fundraising Party on December 4th. Besides great wine and beer samplings being offered by Moosenuckles, your entrance to this great event will include delicious food too! After all, hunting burns calories- we need to dine! I look forward to sampling smoked trout, teriyaki venison, and elk meatballs with famous “Two Fat Guys” hot sauce to name a few! Hunting themed cuisine will be available, of course!

Next edition: more about the raffle prizes!

My dad

It was January 12th. My birthday. It was my dad calling. I was anxious to answer the phone. I knew he would be giving me the news about his biopsy report. I responded with pure joy when he told me it was negative. Pleasantly surprised was an understatement. He had been coughing for a few years we think. He always had an excuse- a cold, something in the air, an infection. Then he went to a doctor. He was told it was reflux. I thought that was reasonable considering he did admit to heartburn. He was working the night shift, not eating the best, certainly not working out, drank caffeine and soda to wake him, and had developed a little belly- all recipes for reflux. Then the blood clot came to his leg. He drove more than an hour to work and back, again, made sense. He had a minor hernia repair surgery- something that would happen to a guy who repaired everything, no matter how heavy, on his own. He later told me he likely developed the hernia from a strong cough, a cough that almost made him pass out while driving. He said the surgeon knew the hernia was caused by the cough and didn’t think much of it. We, my sisters and I, continually prodded for him to go to the doctor. He even started to notice his memory was not the best, again many reasons including high stress being blamed. “They don’t do anything”, he claimed, “they just give me cough medicine.” He got inhalers after lung testing showed asthma. Just once I should have gone with him. And finally, he did go after making sure he was seeing the right provider. Scans and scopes were ordered. And finally, a biopsy right around Christmas time. 

He never smoked though was exposed growing up to second hand smoke. He was in the Navy and worked in Tool and Die most his life. He was strong whether it be with opinions or determination. He made THE best Thanksgiving breakfasts. Was an outstanding grandpa. Would give his life for his family…and did.  

On January 14th, he called me again. They got the results mixed up. Yes, this was happening to my family. A family heavy in the healthcare arena. My father was being diagnosed with lung cancer two days after he was told he didn’t have it. I didn’t miss an appointment after that. The news grew worse each day. It was stage IV. He had a huge lesion in his brain. They were amazed he was so functional. He, my mom, and I went to fill out his disability and Medicare paper work as he made the hard decision to quit work. They were afraid he would seizure so put him on high dose steroid which he hated. Russ on steroids…not good. Decreasing the size of the tumor in his brain took top priority so rather than chemotherapy or synchronous therapy, it was felt that whole brain radiation was the best option. Most options did not reveal a significant difference, all stating survival may be improved by 3-6 months. This WBR was a decision I regret immensely to this day…but not because there was a better decision. I just wish there was a better option. At that point, he was fully functional and we were calling hospice- completely surreal because this did not look like a dead man walking. He started asking “what I wanted”. Yuck. Nothing. You…better. 

The WBR really sucked. Or maybe it was the cancer. Within a few weeks, he developed an ileus. He couldn’t eat. He was hospitalized. After a few days, the doc came in for the tough talk. He didn’t think it was a good idea to continue treatments. We brought him home. I stopped working. I went shopping trying to find anything he seemed to like eating. I remember anytime he would eat something, I went out to get 5 more of what he ate. One day, I bought him kombucha tea. I vividly remember that day. It was all happening so fast and I couldn’t even think. I knew how to keep people well. I got paid to help people get better. I believed medicine worked. I believed holistic therapies worked. But there was my dad dying…and all I could think of was to buy him tea. And the look in his eyes that day, I will sadly so never forget. He hated the taste but had a faithful and hopeful look that I was feeding him a cure because he read the label…“fights cancer”.  He later sat me on the couch and said, “there is going to be a day when nothing works.” He died one week later.

On the April 2oth night before his death, I went home to be with my kids. My sisters and I were giving him 24 hour care and I was “off duty”. I slept in my son’s bed snuggled so tight. In the am, moments before my phone rang to wake me that he had passed, my dad came to me. He was in a beautiful dream with his voice telling me he loved me as I felt the whiskers of his beard press firmly on my cheek with his lips giving me a final kiss. I was thankful for all the time we spent together those last few months but those few seconds will be with me for eternity. 

There is so much more to this synosped story that has gone untold for now. Someday I will piece it all together. One thing I have learned- Grieving is a weird phenomenon. I have always been a private person (though this blog hardly speaks to that) and death pulled me in even more. It is extremely hard to imagine anything going on outside my selfish world when trying to understand what is happening. And even years later, the loss is still lost. 

Andrew and I pray each night to Grandpa. It can be a simple “Hi” to a “I wonder what you are doing” to  “I hope you had a good day”. On his 70th birthday this November 1st, he watched over Jordan shoot his first deer with a bow. He laughed out loud when I veered too close to the mailbox with Todd’s truck scraping up the side hearing him say “you never believed me when I said you were too close”. He is ever present.

A few weeks after his correct diagnosis, I called Jillian to tell her. She graciously offered to help through the Chix 4 A Cause donation. “What does he need?” This is what I love about this organization. A gift of love it was. Russ was overwhelmed with a diagnosis of cancer. The only thing he heard at the doctor’s office was that he was going to need a humidifier because he was likely going to get nose bleeds. I remember him being so worried about that side effect. So, as Chix does, you get what you ask for. Doesn’t seem like much but it was! He didn’t want to be responsible for doing one more thing. Within a week, they came to visit with humidifier in hand as well as a prayer shawl, gas cards, and other love items. Their presence was a gift above and beyond. My mother melted in their love. 

It’s another year. I look forward to an event that gives so much to those with this diagnosis.  Thank you Chix 4 A Cause for who you are.